hi im ash dont know what to put down here just ask if you want to know anything


Paddy was driving home pissed as a newt. Suddenly he had to swerve 2 avoid a tree, then another and another. A cop car pulls him over as he swerves all over the road. Paddy tells the cop all about the trees in the road. The cop says, " for **** sake paddy thats ur air freshner." !

Pete & mary were walkin home from the pub mary says I need a pee & goes behind a bush & drops her knickers. feeling horny pete puts his hand through the bush and feels something dangling between marys legs. He says "have you changed your sex?" mary says "no, ive changed my mind, im havin a shit.

Two flies on a women ****.
1 is an alcoholic, n the other 1 is a junkie..

How can u tell them apart???

The alcoholic is on the BLACKBUSH. And the junkie is on the CRACK..!!