What to say about me? I work so much better when questions are asked to me. I like to respond to questions. I am a person who hates liars cheaters and thieves. I do however like to catch liars in their act. I love watching them squirm as they tell me stories about their lie. Just when they think they have gotten there story out... wham there I am.

Needless to say I have been hurt badly enough by my significant other to have to air it out to you all. I am going through a rough time. It is hard to sit here and type this out for you all to hear because I am looking for responses to help me get through it. I am not looking for a friend or date or even a quick and easy one night stand. I am bigger than that. I have tried with my wife to constantly work things out. She is so immature for a 28 year old. I know she wants to be married to me but she messes things up so many times.
As for the bra burners here that read this, this is not man vs woman. This is my wife versus herself. One day one side will be victorious. But at what cost. She doesn't do the daily things that are required of her in a normal life. She is not responsible for herself. I have never asked for anything other then the minimum. As much as I wish for everything in the world she will never know what I want because she can't even do the minimum. I have asked time and time again for her to love herself. She says she can only love me. I have taken her to therapies at her request and they tell her the same thing. Fix herself and when she loves herself she can love someone else.

Right now she is out someplace, possibly with someone, and my family of 6 is broken. This is the part that hurts the most.

She has cheated on me. So from the moment she leaves my site I wonder who and what is she doing. It is not on purpose to hurt her that I wonder where she. It is because of what she has done to me.

Before I continue rambling on... Understand swingers, cheaters, and liars, you are hurting someone. For those of you who don't believe you are, please feel free to email me and I will be sure to respond appropriately. I am not a negative person and will never condone anyones attempt to find love. If you guys have ever had what I had several years ago you would understand why it is wrong for you to do the things you guys are. I have never cheated on my wife nor will I. We are now on our eighth year of marriage and four of them have been difficult. She decided to go out there and have sex with someone else. That hurt me more than I could ever write to you guys. The discription I have is nothing close to what I feel. Enough about pain.

So I guess this is my only outlet that I have to tell anyone something about me without anyone using it against me later on. I will talk more about this later..


Thanks for reading...


12/24/08

Here is one for the books...

It has finally happened. Christmas eve is upon us once again. Time for cheers and jeers. Not in my house. I again am up at midnight wondering where oh where is my wife. She now has $1000 and my only vehicle again. She has left me another note just telling me where she is going... sort of I guess. She took the GPS to go to Walmart. Walmart is only one mile away. She is going there to think things out. Hmmm, Last time I checked we never have used GPS for Walmart.

It all started like this...

We woke up and did our daily running around. Dropped the kids off at school came back home to clean up the house, then go to school for the kids school parties. I was starting to get into a bad mood because my wife is always trying to start a fight for no reason. Tonight was no exception. I went upstairs to go to the bathroom, #2. That is relevant to know. I went upstairs, turned on the tv for background noise, and went to start my... well business. She followed me upstairs ranting about how she set up the bed and all and that I didn't tell her I was going to bed. This is BS because I wasnt going to sleep I was going to the bathroom. She then proceeded to co mince with the inquisition. I kept telling her that she was making something out of nothing and that now I was going to bed. That just made it worse because I wasn't going to argue with her/ (talk). So I went downstairs and put on a lock on my computer so she could not email another one of her wonderful letters to me. Her response... well she is gone yet again. What a pain in the butt this is.

So part of me ants to know what is going on right now. I have two sick children and one awol parent. Merry fricking xmas to me again this year.


Can't wait until next year...

Once again thanks for your ears and eyes...

Ok haven't been on here in a while. I have wanted to come back many a times to pour my heart out... I always found a reason not too.

Well I am back. I am finally fed up with her. To the point that divorce is eminent. There is no other alternative. I have done everything humanly possible to please this woman. Better yet let me explain what I have done.

Right after her BDay in FEB, which there was no celebration, she asked me to follow rules and ideas of hers to make her happier believing that if she was happy that would make me happy in return. That statement alone was enough for me to say hey what the hell let me try. She gave me a list of touching her, talking more positive to her, holding her hand, and just trying not to have a fight with her. Well i did that for less than a week before she just decided to have an argument. We fought for a good two days. Then there was a truce, then back to the same deal again. That worked out for a few more weeks, then we fought. Mind you that I do not cause a majority of the arguments, sometimes I bottle it up so much that I just want to explode. Now for the good part. I am completely remorseful for what transpired. My wife did her ritual of causing an argument then leaving for hours on end, "to get away". She came back, I told I was going out. I went to the AMerican legion to get drunk. I was in a pissy mood and we were arguing anyways. I thought if I get drunk she would leave me alone. Nope not a chance. I came back and she was ranting and raving. I wanted to be kind and just give some advice,she yelled even louder at about 1 am. I told her I was leaving to go finish the job I started, further drunken state. Well, she grabbed her keys to the car and tried to leave. I told her I was not in the right state of mind to watch the kids and told her to get out. Then we had to play stupid games of find the keys. I would pull them out and throw them on the passenger seat. She would grab them and I would take them out of the ignition again. Well in my stupid state and with the anger that was mounting I smacked her in her face. Not terribly hard but enough for the conversation to change. Now I have never hit my wife out of nine years of marriage and will never allow.

I typically type one continuous letter from time to time hoping for remarks and advice!!! please keep checking my letters out.