hi internet, here's a bunch of expository claptrap that i don't expect anyone to read:

i'm here to meet interesting people and just maybe find someone special enough to make a mixtape for (conversely, that person would be able to look past my hanging prepositions). a friend once described me as "winningly insouciant" and i think that's about the best compliment i've ever heard. i have a full-time job that i love, embarrass myself on a couple of different sports teams, volunteer with an NGO, corrupt minds by teaching at a college i once went to, have somehow been co-opted into organizing the company picnic this year,(-oxford comma!) and am about to start a full-time courseload distance ed degree program in something totally impractical (see also: photography, culinary school, etc). i like to shoehorn adventures with friends/fam in there whenever possible as well but i'm always looking for a witty and whimsical partner in crime to put the world on trial and have conspirital chuckles with. someone who likes to learn new things, is politically informed, appreciates the little things as much as sweeping sentimental platitudes, loves all sorts of food and is critically engaged in the world we live in. the type of girl i would drop everything for(and by "everything" i do mean- the mouse in my hand) is a mix of equal parts liz lemon(nerds!), simone de beauvoir(petit castor!), and amy goodman(how does she read those credits so fast?). materialism is only okay if it's dialectical.


addendum:
a) i'm a sucker for chucks and cute bangs;

b) i will turboswoon if you can solve a rubik's cube and/or fermat's last theorem(w/proofs);

c) it's also hot if you are just as comfortable comparing the beefs between 90s hip hop personalities and the drama between past and present theory rockstars (wittgenstein-popper, sartre-camus, derrida-actually answering a simple question, rorty-truth, adorno-indie rock, naomi klein-the economist, foucault-clothing, chomsky-everything, fukuyama-huntington, et al) or can demonstrate a commensurate level of obscure knowledge in any other random subject(s);

d) i respect vegetarians(can ovo-lactos eat cadbury eggs!?!) but i am a staunch equal opportunity omnivore who appreciates foie gras and duck confit as much as mcnuggets and poutine;

e) i feel pretty strongly that graham greene and evelyn waugh were the mobb deep of mid-century english lit (feat. cyril connelly as nas). resolve.

a monster truck rally... mostly because i want to have an internet dating horror story that involves monster trucks.

no really okay here's what i envision: somewhere for a coffee/drink(a public space just in case you turn out the be a psycho internet lurer with a freezer full of ears). maybe something nerdbomber like a photo-exhib, museum/gallery or loitering in a used book store. if there is live music i will challenge you to a joy division inspired dance off(first one to knock over the drum set wins). i actually don't think a movie/screening is thaaat bad of an idea since you end up learning a lot about each other based on your respective opinions. whatever it is, it'd probably be somewhere with cellphone reception since you and/or i would also have a pre-arranged date-bailout phonecall to answer from a close friend- if the situation is a trainwreck then you and/or i may suddenly have to go "pick up a friend who's car broke down"...if you play your cards right maybe we'll end up throwing potato salad at CCNY lecturers on Dadaism


a lot of emphasis would be placed on hypothetical "would you rather/who would you..." discussions because i think it's a good way to figure out whether or not we have a similar worldview and how hilarious we are together. ie:

would you rather:
- eat a chapstick or have a nickleback ringtone for a month
- get a 10% raise at work or have an unlimited supply of welch's white grape juice
- have lint brush hands or lobster claw hands(yes, they would smell like lobster)
etc, etc...

let's just go to ikea (there are too many supporting reasons for this to list)