I’m a 5 foot 3 inch tall angel with horns. A little between heaven and hell depends on my mood and your attitude. I hate stupid people. Some people should never miss a chance to just shut the **** up. I am Irish, Mexican and German. I think. A little sugar and but mostly spice. Cute and occasionally horribly sexy with out the drama...I guess... but not so self-indulged that I can’t see the need for some improvement since I am a plus sized woman. I am a bit of a ditz but not lacking common sense. Love lip gloss and coffee. I have a wall for a reason. A quiet thinker…but a loud mouth. I always have an opinion but usually never reveal what I am truly thinking unless asked. So don't ask me if you don't really want to know. Truth hurts but at least you know.
A bundle of contradictions. A Capricorn. A “Show Me” Missouri girl to the core, enjoy sex way more than should probably.I love Kansas City, MO. I was born and raised here. I have lived other places but this is home. I was raised in the Westport/Plaza area. I am a mom of three amazing kids. (23, 19, 17).
My family is everything to me. We are all strong willed and do everything big.
My dad called it passionate some others have called it annoying.
I find myself single after 17 years of marriage. I am FINALLY divorced from a man who refused to laugh and have fun. Not to mention he lost his mind...Oh the JOY! I have found being single isn’t what I expected but hey you live and learn, right? I love dive bars with good music. I love Harley Davidsons...bikers and tattoos. Tattoos are awesome even though I only have one. I love art (gothic, erotic, Luis Royo and Van Gogh's 3 starry night paintings). I love to take pictures but I hate to be in them. I try to laugh a lot. I hate whiners, negative people and folks who are just plain mean for no reason. I hate big purses, flip flops on men, comb over on balding men and spandex (it is a privilege not a right). I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve. I usually keep it all in. Some things that will always be true about me: 1. I hate coconut, dark chocolate and the color green. 2. My toes are always painted some shade of purple. 3. OH AND I LOVE PURPLE.
I love the moon. My soul is warmed by its constant beauty. I like candles, incense, thunderstorms, winter (the cold), video games and I love gay bars (they have the best drinks) and Drag Queens. I especially love the straight man secure enough to go with me once in awhile. I love to cook and I love the holidays any and all of them. Any excuse to decorate, shop, cook and have friends over...I am there! I would rather stay up all night playing then sleep in. I LOVE live music(any venue bars, festivals, arenas), BBQs and basically any laid back socializing that includes some laughter and fun. I love road trips! I love my computer cause all my friends live in it…actually not true but I do enjoy chatting with friends but nothing can replace going out and having a good time.

I am looking for someone who above all else…laughs. Laugh at the good the bad and the ugly. Stuff happens to every one how you deal with it is the key. I want someone who is willing to not act his age occasionally, willing and able to socialize and participate in a night out just as easily as a night in. Also someone who understands that I am a mom…they come first and as a grown man I expect that to be ok. I want someone who will hold my hand in silence, who will buy my ice cream when it is 12 degrees outside, who will answer the phone at 300am and no matter what it is...(sick stranded, pissed or horny) he will help. I want a man who understands my aching need to have affection and passion in my life. Someone who will treat me like his queen and his whore at the right time. Some who likes to kiss a lot, normal enough to be around my kids once in awhile. Some who does what he says he will always. A man's word should never be broken. Someone honorable, kind and a freak behind closed doors. He must enjoy licking a lot! Some what dominate man who knows his place and enjoys my submissive nature without taking advantage of it.
What am I looking for you ask? Well I am looking for a boyfriend type to be honest.
Someone who wants date night, a movie on the couch, regular sex, the over nite stay once in a while, drunken monkey sex wouldn't hurt and u know a phone or text message once in awhile make sure I am still alive.
BUT I don't want to move in together or hear I love you a month after we meet. I was married 17 years I am ok with going really slow! (besides going to fast might freak me out) I keep hoping for something more than friends with benefits and less then attached at the hip.

OK SO NOW YOU CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!
UPDATE:
If after reading all I wrote all u want to talk about is the "must like licking a lot" sentence then u should move on.

If your idea of impressing a woman or anyone for that matter is talk endlessly about how much money you make then you should move on.

If you spend every evening trying to be intoxicated in some fashion in order to sleep you should move on.

If you think just cause I am a fat girl I am going to put up with disrespect and idiotic behavior you should move on.

If you are younger than 30 or older than 50 you should move on.

If you are trying to meet/marry someone and have babies with in 30 days - 6 months you should move on.

If you think you should get sex on the first meeting, don't want to actually date to get to know someone or have more of "hooking up" idea of what you want you should move on.