I miss college when meeting girls was easy and worthwhile.

I drink often and am arguably one of the most fun drunks you will meet.

I'm smarter than you, but completely lack inspiration.

I take care of my body at look great(alcohol aside), and believe you should do the same.

I'm excellent at everything I do.

I love my mother.

I have stories worthy of a Tucker Max style book, but again, I lack the inspiration to pitch them.

Subnote to the above, I have partied with celebrities, both of cinematic and music fame.

I don't expect anything to come from this.

Its your loss.