Hello there
Thanx for taking the time to stop by and check out my profile.I`ve been looking for Miss Right for awhile now and all I`ve found is A LOT of Miss Wrongs (Boy do I have some stories).I`ve got everything I need right now except that special someone to share it with. I`m extremely funny with a great senSe of humour , a tad sarcastic at times. I`m outgoing with a good heart and great values.
I`m a big guy 6`3 250lbs (a football player type frame)who in fact is a big teddy bear despite first impressions.
I`m looking for casual convo to start with no expectations. If you`d like to get to know a really good guy..send me a message and I will respond.
It would be a bonus if you liked animals (I have the best dog ... a 13 year old shepard named Duke), movies (especially comedies) , pool and of course Family Guy and The Simpsons.
I work full time security with The Fed Gov`t and I d.j part time for fun and a little extra $$$ (feel free to try to stump me on music trivia specially Retro .. I dare ya.

Dislikes:

Graffiti
Bad Grammar / Spelling (Did you know "A Lot" was 2 separate words not one ?)
People who disappear in the middle of a convo
Bad Drivers

-----///\\-----Plz
----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---account If
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\-///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer
----///--\\\---OR who may be suffering from it


PS....SINGLE MOMS please don`t post pics of your children ... not a wise thing to do.
Please be careful for their sake


This is toooo funny ... had to post it


DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Biatch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry =you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset =of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay


And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a tree stump shoved up his backside.






Hope to hear from you

Thanx
;o)

If I`m on late at night it means I`m working an overnight shift...feel free to send me an e-mail.

I can`t IM at work

PS..If you look good in a pair of jeans and ride a bike....you`re in ;o)

PSS .. no woman will ever be happy till they find a chocolate penis that ejaculates money (lol..was on someones profile.. had to steal it)