I'm just looking for a very special girl or a bunch of average ones!! LOL!

Normally I'm the kinda guy who can go out and meet anyone, but after a summer and now a fall of meeting and dating nothing but sh!t-bombs and bimbo's I've decided to put up a profile here in all attempts to meet a girl who is a DECENT PERSON! Not a girl who is knee-deep into drugs, is still in love with her ex, who's heart is dead, or engages in criminal activity. I don't want to have to check my pants pockets and wonder if the $20 bucks I thought I had in there was taken by YOU! Ya know...us guys are supposed to be the "Bad Boys" not you girls. It's NOT sexy! You're supposed to straighten us out not the other way around, plus I will bail nobody out of jail! LOL!

I'm very....VERY easy going and easy to get along with. I'm very out going and have the patience of a Zen Buddhist (or so I've been told). I'm really looking for a girl with a great personality and who I can have fun with, and yeah....it helps too if ya hot, but a great person makes a perfect 10 in my book! As far as me I've been told I look like Captain Jack Sparrow which is funny cuz when I'm drunk I totally transform into him. Yeah, I start swinging from chandeliers and so on. I've recently been told I look like Justin Bobby from The Hills....who ever the hell that is!? LOL!

Okay....cutting all the bullsh*t aside I’m really seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3 to 9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings. I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion, but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or the other party!

Also girls, and this might win some brownie points with ya'll, but I'm hosting a show on TV! Yes....that's right TV! Your messiah! It's pretty self explanatory it's called LETS HUNT AND KILL DANE COOK. Each week I and a few other enlighten individuals will set the hounds of hell loose on that no-talent tool hack a$$hole and chase him across the country til we can wash that turd off the face of this planet for good and set the example. Next season LETS HUNT AND KILL CRISS ANGEL!!! I just want to rid the world of these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious and making us pay a higher physic price then we can possibly imagine. Check your local listings....

I'm up for anything, but it should be something where we can both talk and get to know each other. A natural public event of sorts. Definitely something in public....cuz who knows you might be a wacko! :P