Who I am: I think at this point in my life I can say, pretty unequivocally, that I'm not a guy who likes cats. I'm just not. Dogs sure. Fish okay. Mike Tyson white tigers, probably. But housecats, no. And probably not the girls who obsess about them either.

I also like girls who are girls. You love rooting for the cowboys on Sunday? fine. Just make sure you can look good in a little black dress on Saturday. I want a woman who is low drama (or as much as that's actually possible), who's loyal, who's clever and who makes me glad every morning to wake up next to her.

Ideally morning sex to celebrate that connection would be nice too.

What I’m doing with my life: Hobbywise I love travel writing running exploring and home improvement (I just got a yard. I'm shooting for a housewarming party sometime in the fall. I moved in around March. It's been a tough yard.)

Workwise? I'm doing something I love. And that's about all anyone can ask for.

Lifestylewise? By no means is this defining but I buy gadgets. I make a good living, I don't gamble too heavily and haven't lost money in a scam since that homeless couple sold me "tickets" to wrestlemania 2 when I was 14. So when there's a new ipod or a phone or laptop or something else random and shiny, I buy it. It's a nod to leading the life I always promised myself I would live when I was 9. That said, the important and poorer people in my life usually gets my castoffs. One girl I know currently has my blackberry, my dell laptop and and Ipod-touch. Seriously. She's leading my electronic life of 2007.

I’m really good at: ...a lot of stuff, which I'll get to in minute. And moderately good at a lot more. But I think a man also needs to admit his limitations. And in that spirit I'm crap at:

solving for X
polite small talk with business contacts
stick shifts
physics
keeping white shirts white

That said, I'm also accomplished enough that I've done some things I'm proud of. Here's a sample in no particular order.

I rode down a mountain in a car with no brakes. I walked alone through a Pittsburgh ghetto that was actually on fire. I wrote a piece that was published in the biggest paper in America. I taught kindergarten in a foriegn land where I didn't speak the language. I graduated college without graduating high school. I fought three guys and a german shepard at the same time. I won a political campaign in Chicago that I was supposed to lose. I did something very bad once that still haunts me today. I restored a 1970 Dodge with far too much money. I wrote an award winning screenplay on my first try. I scalped SNL tickets every weekend when I was 15. I ruined a man's 5 million dollar business for saying something racist. I invented several names for nail polish at Maybelline. I helped create the worst reality show ever...and it will never be seen. I was a top morning show DJ on a country radio station. I took paxil as part of a paid 30 day drug research study even though I wasn't suffering from depression. I giggled for 1 month straight. I hypnotized my ex-girlfriend to give up smoking.

Also I'm pretty pimp in the car-buying department. Sometimes I think about getting rid of the Audi just so I can make some new salesguy scream at me on the showroom floor till I drive off with what I want.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me: My phenomenal ass. Oh yes. You hate to see me go, but you love to watch me walk away. Except for gay men. Frankly I don't think I could ever live up to their McConaughey-esque standards.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food: Food? Sushi and Steak. The rest is a lot longer of a list.

Favorite Music: Eric Hutchinson, B.B. King, Stevie Wonder, The Beach Boys, Bruce Springsteen, David Bowie, Jeff Buckley, Kanye West, Neil Diamond, Beastie Boys, Fatboy Slim, Aimee Mann, The Eagles, The Gipsy Kings, Rod Stewart, AC/DC, The Clash, Joe Walsh, The Cure, John Mayer, Jason Mraz, Talking Heads, Nina Simone, Lyle Lovett, Patsy Cline, U2, Billie Holiday, Feist, Mika, The Who, The Rolling Stones, Los Lobos, Rod Stewart, Warren Zevon, Queen, Zero 7, Corinne Bailey Rae, Lexicon, Dave Matthews, Parliament Funkadelic, Lilly Allen, Richard Cheese, Cassandra Wilson, Joss Stone, Jamiroquai, The Spinners, Spoon, Colin Hay, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra, Elvis, The Killers, Underworld, Imogen Heap, Elvis Costello, Franz Ferdinand, Jamie Lidell, Soul Coughing, Aretha Franklin

Favorite TV Shows: MadMen, Dexter, Weeds, Californication, Lost, Charm School, Daily Show, David Letterman, Entourage, Jekyll (UK), Coupling (UK Version), Life on Mars (UK Version), 30 Rock, The Office, Family Guy, Simpsons, King of The Hill, Battlestar Galactica, The Riches

Favorite Movies: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Iron Giant, Knocked Up, The Blues Brothers, Round Midnight, Magnificent Seven, The Big Lebowski, Hudsucker Proxy, Raising Arizona, The Philadelphia Story, True Grit, The Bourne Identity, Casino Royale, Sicko, Adaptation, Sin City, 300, Some Like It Hot, Kill Bill, Cool Hand Luke, The Incredibles, Die Hard, Hot Fuzz, The Wild Bunch, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Little Miss Sunshine, Harvey, Groundhog Day, Snatch, In the Heat of the Night, Old School, Animal House, Caddyshack, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Shaun of the Dead, Meet John Doe, Network, Tootsie, A Night At The Opera, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Better Off Dead, The Thin Man, His Girl Friday, A Face in the Crowd, Breaking Away, Blazing Saddles, The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Quiet Man, Born Yesterday, The Freshman, Bull Durham, The King of Comedy, Get Shorty, A Fish Called Wanda, Clerks, Bulworth, As Good As It Gets, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Kung Fu Hustle, 28 Days Later, Wedding Crashers, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, Trading Places, Swingers, Sixteen Candles, Napoleon Dynamite, Gattaca, The Last Starfighter, Galaxy Quest, The Fifth Element

Favorite Books: Catch 22, The Plot Against America, Watchmen, Think and Grow Rich

The six things I could never do without:

1) Democracy
2) The Iphone 3GS
3) Weekends
4) Television
5) Stupidity
6) And the right woman.

Though, given how many times I've ended up with the wrong woman, you can clearly see how #6 has been mostly held back by #5

At this point in my life, I don't have a plan. I used to. I used to craft dates like a european master. I had a Koreatown date that, to this day, is still the best first date that well over half of my exes have ever been on. With luck they'll never all end up in the same room to compare notes. But the problem is, when you do that, when you plan and plot and execute, what you get is the opposite of what a first date is supposed to be. Which is a discovery of a person as you discover something else together. Don't get me wrong: I'll still come up with something. Last time it was a grilled cheese festival and a drink at that place downtown that created the first french dip sandwich and a walk through a neon art gallery across the way. it was fun. But I wasn't planning on it being fun. I was hoping. And that made all the difference.

A few last things:

I think in TV. All the time. I can't say whether it's a good thing or a bad one. It's given me a lucrative career and a secondhand in a medium that verges on a mutant ability. but if you hate TV it might not be as fun for you.

If you've got facial piercings, sorry, not for me. I'm not sure why but for some reason it's the visual equivalent to me of nails on a blackboard.

Also, see that little section all the way at the top?

It's the one that says that I'm a pisces, that I'm a well paid TV exec, that I graduated college and ALSO that I'm five foot and six inches. Now I have no problem with height, or color, or weight on the right girl with the right figure. For me if I like a woman, I like a woman. And that's led to some interesting times with very interesting women. One who I think was in the WNBA at one point. But if your perfect package is 6'2" (and higher when he wears heels), it's not me. I bring this up not because this is something I'm obsessed with but because apparently some girls forget to read that and it makes for an awkward first date. Especially the slow dancing.

I'm also friends with my exes, or I try to be. My feeling is they were important people in my life in one context and now they're important in another way. So it probably goes without saying that if you're the jealous type, that might be an issue. But it shouldn't be.

Finally, no matter where I am, or what I do, I am always a New Yorker. You got a problem with that I've got several choice curse words for you. Most of which I learned in three languages before I was eight in New York City. God bless the Big Apple.

So should you write me? Honestly? If you've read this far, and you really want to. Sure. Otherwise, probably not. Seriously. I can readily admit, at this time in my life, that I am an acquired taste. And if I'm not your cup of tea, fantastic. That much easier to figure out what you DO want. But if you are responding to this, if this DOES speak to you...well then don't you think it's about time you got to writing me?