Hi, I'm Kelly.

I'm here for a potential mate to feed on for free dinners, many materialistic objects that I don't actually need presented in the form of presents, gratuitous funds, and eye candy. In return, my mate will receive endless nagging about his personal habits and/or hygiene, a backseat driver, and countless nights of unsatisfactory sex.

Do we have a deal?


Also, no offense to all you single dads out there, but I'm totally not into kids right now. Maybe someday, but I'm not looking to date anyone with spawn running around.

I've noticed a trend recently of men who only commit to writing one email and then dropping off the face of the earth. It's sort of frustrating. If you're going to email me and then decide that you hate me forever for whatever reason, could you be a dear and tell me why you're not interested in me? I'm really curious to know why I seem so undateable after the first email that I send.

I'm all about devouring my date's soul and wallet, I mean, I am a woman..