Well, I'm going to take some time off from this and get myself re-organized. Mostly that includes eliminating some bad habits and replacing them with better habits. *As of 11/3/09, I'm down 18 lbs in about 7 weeks. Not sure how far I'll go... maybe 30 lbs. Been pretty easy actually. So I will soon be changing my body type from "average" to "athletic"!* Anyway, I'm going to leave this up here for anyone to read. I figure I'll throw out some insider info about men, and a few of my opinions about how to improve your profile so as to hopefully attract fewer douchebags. Hope this helps!

NUMBER 1! Zero contact from douchebags is an impossibility! Some guys are douchebags, and they always will be. No way around it. Sorry.

Generally speaking, guys that wear Affliction, Sinful, or any shirt that has some "tribal", dragon or simulated tattoo design on it, usually fit into the douchebag category. My personal opinion is that any guy who spends $80 for a T-SHIRT is an idiot! I had a roommate who was a victim of our current economic situation. College graduate who was laid off from a financial firm that went belly-up. For a time afterwards, he was driving a forklift at a warehouse for $9.25/hr. A fraction of his previous income. Even at $9.25/hr, he could swing an extra $80 a month. He wasn't the type to wear Affliction and the like, but my point is, a guy in an $80 t-shirt is not rich... in fact the opposite is true. Odds are he's in a serious amount of personal debt. $9.25/hr is a joke! It is highly advised that these guys be avoided.
*Over Halloween, I saw about a half dozen guys who went as "Afflicted". That's at least what they named their costume. It was pretty funny!! Had the shirt, hat placed slightly to one side, clip-on diamond ear studs and sleazy looking shoes! Hilarious!*

A guy that takes a picture of himself in the mirror without a shirt on also fits into the douchebag category. If such picture was taken with a cellphone camera, he is a douchbag. If all his photos were taken with a cellphone camera, he is most certainly a douchebag. Digital cameras are cheap now. $80 will buy a good camera, but it's likely he used that to buy a t-shirt.

When on a date, (I'll avoid the obvious that women already know) listen intently. Truthful answers come quickly. Fraudulent answers take time to think about.

I will though, reinforce a point that I'm sure you are aware of, but it is one to pay close attention to. If you catch him checking out your cleavage more than once, you have a problem. Yes, all guys will look, I am as guilty as anyone. But this is such a well known dating no-no that a gentleman will actually care about getting caught. That is where the difference lies. Those that care about getting caught, and those that don't.

Don't fall for the bullsh*t. Most "nice guys" will not use pick-up lines or excessive flattery on the first date. Probably won't even use them at all.

If you hear him say, "I've had a problem with cheating in the past...", grab your purse and head for the door. Cheating is a recurring problem. Don't kid yourself, you will not be the one to change his ways. Sorry.

Listen to his language. Most douchebags will alter their vocabulary on a first date. If you detect some slim-shady undertones, you have a problem. Also, a gentleman will use VERY limited, if any, foul language. If your date ever refers to a woman (most likely an ex) as a**** slut, ****, ho, whore or any derogatory term, he will most likely use the same words when talking about you... probably even in your presence.

As mentioned first, zero contact from douchebags is an impossibility. From reading lots of women's profiles, usually a douchebags emails are pretty disgusting. So... knowing what we know about douchebags, they always have an inflated sense of self worth and an ego that can fill a stadium. As I have read, if a douchebag's initial email goes unreturned, and/or, heaven forbid... deleted, they usually send a follow-up email. As curious as you may be to read it, I assure you that this follow-up email does not read, "Madam, you have made a wise decision ignoring my email, as I am a douchebag of epic proportions." The best thing to do, and the worst thing he will see is, "Unread/Deleted". In his mind, he thinks he is the greatest thing to happen to women since the invention of the contoured applicator. "Unread/Deleted" is like driving a bulldozer through his ego!

When you get an email, especially when you first check this in the morning, look at the hour at which it was sent. I would be skeptical of any emails sent after midnight. Off the top of my head, police officers, fire fighters and EMS obviously work the graveyard... so late night/early morning emails might not be from deadbeat jerks. Just be weary and check the profile info as best you can. Please note, if his occupation reads "Law enforcement", but his cruiser is a golf cart with amber lights... He is not LAW enforcement, he is merely RULE enforcement!!

I've read in many, MANY profiles where the member wrote "Not here for a booty call", or some similar variation. Well, when you have photos of yourself nearly naked, sprawled across your bed, hair tossed and finger in your mouth, what kind of emails do you think you are going to get?

Learn proper grammar and spelling. Without it, you look like a R*E*T*A*R*D!

I thought we were finished with the pseudo-gangsign thing back in the late 90's. If anybody has any insider information on when the "chunkin' up the deuce" fad will end, I would LOVE to know! And I'll be sure to let you know when the "shocker" will end! *Note* The morning of 11/2/09 on my way to work, I actually saw some dude with a HUGE "shocker" sticker on the back window of his pickup!! LMAO!!! Say it with me!! D*O*U*C*H*E*B*A*G

One last point. Miss-information (lies) in profiles is not gender specific. I have some pretty interesting stories about some of the dates I've had. For starters, one date failed to mention she was missing half of her right arm. Another date listed her occupation as "motivational speaker" when in fact she was a psychic/clarevoyant (sp?). YEAH!! Those weirdos who claim the ability to speak with DEAD PEOPLE! I have more... but the point is, it's a two way street. I would imagine someone reading this right now might have some info in their profile that is less than accurate... or a serious stretch of the truth. For example, old photos. I've had several dates where she looked almost nothing like she did in her photos. My only assumption is that the photos she posted were several years old, and she was 35 pounds lighter. To me, out of date photos are as much of a lie as anything else. I would hope that you share the same opinion in regard to men's profiles. Dating is rough, but someone on the other end is having just as rou