I'm Tom. I'm a computer geek. I live in Orange County. I enjoy watching sports that involve violence, big words, German cars, and dark beers. I don't like pop music, SUVs or Capri pants. I like Italian food. When I rarely dance I do it poorly and don't care. I am a karaoke god. When I grow up I wanna be an Astronaut. I am wildly sarcastic. This is the longest thing I've ever typed that didn't have the word "F**k" in it somewhere.

Some more about me:
- I don't believe the glass is half full or half empty, but 50% too large.
- No one ever calls me a space cowboy, a gangster of love or Maurice. I have no idea what a "Pompatus" is.
- I've been told I'm on in a million. At current population there are around 6,700 of me out there.
- I am unoffendable. I think anything can be made to be funny. This gets me in a lot of trouble.
- I'm boring when it comes to food. I've tried a lot of things but nothing tops a pizza, cheeseburger, or a nice steak.
- I don't care what celebrities do. I think knowing too much about strangers is embarrassing.
- I have incredible taste in music and I'm always looking for something new.
- The sure way to my heart is repeating wildly obscure quotes from Caddy Shack, Swingers, or any Kevin Smith movie.
- I'm the bee's knees of computer geekdom, but I really only learned about them to impress women.
- I have the express written permission from the NFL to re-broadcast games.

Here's what I'm after in a woman: Incredibly low standards in men, and bad eyesight. Appreciates my self-depreciating humor and the rest of my un-funny jokes too. I enjoy people that have opinions and can keep up a conversation. If you've read this far, you should probably write me a message.

What... I'm going to tell you now? The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.