The information listed below are certain aspects of character content I take into serious consideration when courting or engaging in activities with members of the opposite sex.

1)Brave chicks only. I'm serious here. You really need to have a strong personality to spend time with me. You need to be able to talk back to me and shoot me attitude when I deserve it. Then i'm gonna laugh at you, and you're going to need to control your desire to punch me in the face. If you can handle all the sh*t I throw at you; consider yourself a pretty amazing woman. This of course, does not mean i'm gonna fancy you in any way.

2)NO Hippies. Go play your tambourine in your little drum circle; write a poem under a rainbow or something.

3)NO games. You say the same stuff in your profile - but i'm actually being sincere. Head games are terribly sophomoric and causes me to generate disdain quickly. I'm not a teenager anymore and neither are you.

4)Must not listen to hip hop, new wave rock, dancehall reggae, country or dub step. If you do, you're gonna have a bad time. If the words 'techno', 'funk', 'house', 'diry, dirty bassline' have any profound effect on you - contact me immediately. I HAVE a remedy and it WORKS. A quick note to all the punk rockers and just plain rockers - I love your dress style, but don't message me. I'll admire you from afar and hook you up with a guy named Chuck with lots of tattoos, wears cheap Levi's and looks malnourished - just your type. He might be a bad influence on you, but I can assure you that I am far worse. I look like an ultra-conservative preppy on the outside, but I have inherited all the bad, naughty liberal agendas you would swoon over. I'll be your Bobby Brown. I'd ruin you.

5)Must have a sophisticated palate.

6)I have NO personality. I'm a myopic, transparent, two dimensional man; i'm very predictable. I have no interest in your feelings, your future or your approval whatsoever. I will never go out of my way to do anything or say anything that might be of even minor interest. I will call you the next day and tell you that I went out with other people the previous night and had a fantastic time and will say 'boy howdy, i wish you were there', knowing full well that I never intended of ever inviting you along. If this sounds familiar, it's probably because you have dated a man like me before. Yea, yea, yea. I know what you're thinking. You promised you wouldn't date a man like this ever again because you felt so unwanted and useless - and vowed to never make that mistake again. But you will enter that vicious cycle as they all do, and I'm here for it. This sounds like a sure bet; if not for you, for me. You know exACTLY what you're getting and this should create a zone of comfort for you. A smooth transition, and a fine choice. Now if only I cared...


Hobbies include - DJ'ing (although not as active as i used to be - doesn't mean i cant still rock a room), reading books i don't even like, using my kettlebell (if you don't know, just ask), mending my vigilante costume after performing daring - and questionable - exploits, ruminating - and by that, i mean chewing cud, not thinking deeply. Fashion. There is a sizable chance that I dress better than you.

Goals - I'm currently looking for a young, affluent partner who can support me and my expensive hobbies and pastimes. I promise to be a satisfactory lover - just above adequate - but please expect no more from me. I have a good job, and I like what I do, but let me be honest - I'd rather not work if I had to. In return i will exercise more frequently and dress in fancy clothes that you no doubt 'gifted' me with. I'll make sure all your lady friends envy you for your amazing taste in men with class, education and culture. They will especially like the fact that I can discern a Bordeaux by which side of the river it came from without looking at the bottle. Don't know what a Bordeaux is? You don't HAVE to. That's how awesome I am. You won't regret this decision. There is however, a slight chance I might.

Notables - I brush my teeth twice a day, shine my shoes and I love my mom, but never you.

First date? Nonsense. There will be no date. Dinner? Oh hell no. Who has dinner on a first date? What an epic waste of money - especially for the poor girl who has to pay for it. As my profile reads - I am only interested in hanging out. My standards and personality are far too grand to even fathom 'dating' as an actual activity. As far as I am concerned - hanging out with you will make me realize how great of a person I am for reaching out to the masses and offering my simple yet deeply rooted wisdom to the banal, shallow and ungrateful society that has moulded you.
You know what - maybe I will date you. But i'll probably bring a friend along to keep me company because I get bored very quickly. If you prove to be interesting than I'll even hook you up with him! He's a great guy, I'm told.
I sound like an ***hole on paper and I even will in person; but that facade will fade in the following months, that is, if I decide to keep in contact with you (very unlikely, but possible!). I'm sure by that time I'll consider you excellent friend material. Just don't expect me to call or keep in touch. That's... way too much work.