Seriously? This little box is going to tell you whether or not I'm right for you .... hmm... Well, good luck with that. =D Let's see: I could go with the whole cutesy "panda, lolcat kitten, romantic walks on the beach-loving best fwend I heart you hug me" type, or of course there's always the "your mother warned you about guys like me, but your really into it" angle. Oh, and lets not forget middle of the road average, boring, but at least I'm putting something down "I like anything fun, going out, hanging with friends ..." schtick. Oh, almost forgot the smiley angle "look at me! look look look look at ... oh sh*tthey're looking at me ... um... where's my ritalin?! If you want to know something about someone, its not that hard. Ask them a question. Holy post-heaven enlightenment batman, is that it? Yup, pretty much. You can do that, right?

Let's see. Fancy restaurant? yup. Mood lighting? check. Roses, candles, chocolates, wine, oysters, sunset, spontaneity, surprise, excitement? double check. Chatting up the waitress and going home with her instead of my date? Definitely. Come on, be honest. Dating is all about the buildup: will he, wont he, what if, imagine, wouldn't it be great if ... Its all suspense and anticipation. Once you're there, its basically over. You start up with the analytical, critical expectation and that's it. You screwed the pooch. Jumped the shark. Stuck a fork in the orange-coloured dingo. Name me one date that has ever beaten showing up at X's door (or having them show up at yours) with ten minutes warning and just chilling together: hanging out, watching a flick or two, chasing a dog around, playing a videogame, whatever floats your canoe (yes, I said canoe. Not boat. Canoe. Cause trying to have sex in a canoe without tipping it over is a great way to spend a date. Probably wouldn't recommend it on a first date, so I guess we're getting a little off topic, but hey, the more you know. Right?). The whole getting all dolled up, going out to a fancy whichimawaternshishkaphlabob, sitting across from each other all nervous, worrying about having nothing to say shpeel: it doesn't work. Neither of you enjoy yourself cause you're expecting yourselves to. Stop worrying about all that crap, pick up the phone, hop in a cab, add a pizza, movie tickets, running shoes, bikes, dogs, bathing suits, pool cues, massage oil, green peas and a cob of corn and just enjoy yourself. Cause that's the whole point, isn't it?