Ann Coulter, Milton Freedman, Thomas Sowell, Allen Keys, G.Gordon Liddy, Glenn Beck, John the Baptist, Charlton Heston, John Birch, both Thomas Payne AND John Lock believe it or not, Les Feldick, Michael Rood, Herbert W. Armstrong, Walter Williams, Adrian Rodgers, Jefferson Davis, Diemietrie Martin, Physics, Spacetime, Nano-Technology, Grilling, Laughing, Ted Nugent, Finding a Twenty, Free Markets, all 66 Books of the Bible, Megan Kelly, Practical Jokes, Three Stooges, Patent Law, Free Markets, Teasing my Girl, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Documentaries, GOODFELLAS, Anchovies, more...

After looking around here on this website, i see they thought of everything... well nearly everything... why they even thought to ask about the frequency with which you take drugs!!! ...indispensable information! genius! ....and whether or not you have a car!... have to admit, i may not have thought of that one... kudos! ...but, you know, there are some glaring omissions .... where is the obvious question; HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC DEFECATION? ... and if yes, i for one would like to know with what frequency... i do not think i would want to date someone answering; > three times a week.... and another logical question is of course; DO YOU HALLUCINATE ABOUT BEING AVERAGE IN BODY TYPE? AND IN WHAT GROUP ARE YOU AVERAGE? ... some other helpful information might also be garnered by asking these equally intuitive questions;
DO YOU HAVE AN S.T.D. YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH US?
DO YOU OWN A GLASS TOP STOVE?
ARE YOU A NICE PERSON?
DO YOU OWN A COMPUTER?
ARE YOU AN HONEST PERSON? (this would expose all those liars who do drugs)
WHERE ARE THE PICS YOU CHOSE NOT TO POST HERE?
DO YOU OWN, RENT, OR LOITER?
CAN YOU TELL ANALOG TIME?
DO YOU LIKE LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH? (think of the incalculable megabytes we'd save)
REALLY, ARE YOU MARRIED?
DO YOU OWN A PHONE?
DO YOU OWN A CAR WITH DRUGS IN IT? (learn at the master interrogator's feet)
DO YOU HAVE A BAIL BONDSMAN?
ARE YOU SICK OF THE BAR SCENE?
ARE YOU SICK OF HEARING THE PHRASE BAR SCENE?
DO YOU DO PLACEBOS?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT ARE CONJUNCTIONS? -AND- DO YOU USE THEM?
WHEN SHAMPOOING, DO YOU REPEAT?
ARE YOU AWARE THE WORD "FUN" MAY MEAN SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO OTHERS?
~~~~~As you can see, there are many unanswered questions; simply because sadly... they were just never asked....
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If you want to know about me, you'll have to ask...

If you ask my closest friends about my unimpeachable character; they would tell you that they do not know the man, and please ask him to stop using us as references.... because they are just lousy jerks, i don't know why i have anything to do with them....

Ok, now for my official POF Profile(s)...

First of all; I AM A LYING, SELFISH, LOSER.

...now when you and your S.O.B. lawyer at our divorce trial are trying to get me for half of everything i HAVE, by telling your side of the story how i was such a low down, dirt bag of a husband, i'll just print this out as exhibit A, and tell the judge; "hey! your honor, she knew exactly what she was getting into... she answered my POF profile clearly notifying her of my status as a lying, selfish, loser!!!! CAVEAT EMPTOR!
...ok, my legal advisor interupted drinking his dinner out of his brown paper bag to give me that free advice.... some things they just don't teach you in law school... i guess life experience trumps fancy book learnin' any day....

....where were we?, oh yeah, we were talking about me at length.... i notice that there are at least two kinds of women on this thing; the few who get me.... and normal well adjusted women.... seeing as how i can not please even one woman, let alone all women... i think i will at least try by posting two profiles here so i can attempt the impossible and satisfy the needs of both....

(NORMAL WOMEN PLEASE SKIP DOWN TO YOUR OWN PRIVATE SECTION BELOW, THIS SECTION IS FOR IMMATURE AUDIENCES ONLY)
note,this profile has been modified to fit your monitor....
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SICK, TWISTED SISTERS, (AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE).... MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME HERE;

....i was born a poor black child in NJ....no, wait... that was steve martin... i was born a poor white child in NJ.... and i never forsook my roots.... i am still poor....
..ok, i need to go to bed, i'll finish this next month.... ... the file or folder you are trying to access is temporarily unavailable, please try again later.... thank you for your patience.... there's nothing to see here... move along.... plenty more bachelors over there, keep it moving...


Funny how all the women here are looking for honesty on a website called "plenty of fish" ....don't you know that fishermen are notorious liars?

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NORMAL GIRLS SECTION STARTS HERE:

******** ...........under construction......... *********

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FINALLY, THIS SECTION IS FOR EVERYONE!
.....you know, while i always knew there was appathy about God and all things spiritual, i didn't think there was that much actual hatred of Christians.... i am getting responses to this profile with messages of visceral hatred.... i was very hurt personally at first, but i am starting to realize that i am only the object of convenience for their illogical wrath.... if this is the case then i am glad that i am suffering for the most worthy of causes... i LOVE my Lord Yeshua...... and i will shout it from the roof tops.... notwithstanding drawing the persecution of the lost.... if i can save just one of them, and bring them home to their loving Creator, then any suffering on my part will be worth it.... remember, no matter how much you hate my Master or me, we love you! ...only someone with hate in their heart can find fault with that... ...we want you to come home, and be reconciled with your Maker, who shed His perfect blood for you! ...God forbid you ever find yourself down and out, in need of food, who will you turn to for help?...secular humanists? ...new agers? ...do not let this opportunity pass without availing yourself of His blood... you will be clean, all your past will be gone as far as the east is from the west.... if this costs me a gorgeous wife and a happy life, i consider it a small price to pay for my Savior... Shallom! (Peace)

Church, Eat, Talk, go to bed, while you clean my house.... hey they asked for what "i" would do for a first date... but really, all seriousness aside, i would probably just embarrass you over a light dinner in a nice place, and then inappropriately try to blank you in the parking lot.... hey, ya gotta stick with whatcha know best... i get the occasional nymphomaniacs with no self esteem trying to get back at their ex's.... whatever, it works for me.... Who are you to judge me? ...unless you are a judge, and it's your job to do so, in which case, i throw myself on your mercy...

....i have an idea! ....let's be single together!
...i put the LOVE in slovenly!
....it only hurts when i lol....
....i am very S M A T!
...you can't spell stud without std and u!
...conjugal visits now allowed where i live!
....33% handsome, 33% fun, 66% good at math...
...99% of all statistics are wrong.
...if i weren't a gentleman, would i be out on good behavior?
...my mother is a woman too!
....it would be unfair to hold me accountable for my actions.
...animal lover, ie; chicken, fish, lamb, turkey, etc.
...I'm NOT Judgmental like YOU!...
...Unpretentious Astronaut Millionaire Here
...Aged to PERFECTION, and then some...
...Seeking Virtuous Woman, O.B.O.
...Filthy, Stinking, Rich! ..just not rich.
...Must love and obey Jesus!
...Profeshonal Spell Chekor
...Questions Make Me Crazy!Don't ask me why