And for a limited time with that $4.62 I'll throw in this button I have as well. All that could be yours if you don't think I'm an awesome date. So what do you have to lose, another night drinking wine by yourself watching a Lifetime movie. Hmm? I have to be better than a Lifetime movie. I don't think my self esteem could take a blow if I were more boring than one of their movies.

Now like movies, I'm going to give you some reviews of myself from others. Let's face it, people need reviews to be encouraged to go see or do something.

"Good catch"
-my mom, she could have been talking about the fish she was holding

"enjoyable to stand by...made me laugh and forget how long the holiday line was"
-lady behind me at a store during the holiday rush

"I think you're cute"
-blind person, from when I tried helping the blind

"funny to the point of nearly wetting my pants"
-coworker, who made it to the bathroom on time, unlike the other coworker.

“Meow Meow”
-Morgan, my cleaning obsessed cat

"Wait, so like there's no one else alive? Just you and me? Yeah, then I would probably total go out with you because you're the only other person and I don't want to be like alone or something. Plus you could like bring me food."
-high school crush (I was trying to figure out when she'd go out with me. So fingers crossed on that nuclear holocaust that would leave only the two of us alive, because then I'll get that dat. Unfortunately since then she's been attacked by a group of vicious squirrels and lost an eye. Eye patch wearing pirate type girls aren't my thing. She may have also lost a toe in the attack and an ear; possibly a whole arm was rumored to have been lost, but the eye that's just sick.)

The reviews speak for themselves. So what are you waiting for? Say hello.

And guess what? I'm already saying hi. Yeah. That's right I'm saying hi to you. All you need to do is say it back. Consider this the guy in the bar coming over and saying hi. This is a pretty sweet deal before you. You get $4.62 if I'm not awesome and a button, but now if you are one of the first 20 responders I'm throwing in the bonus gift that I will listen to you on the date. That's right I'm offering intelligent conversation where I remember the things you say and work a conversation from them. Conversation offer is void after excess amounts of alcohol is consumed though.

So what are you waiting for? Start slamming those keys and respond. Sorry to say this deal doesn't stand for you there with the hair coming out of your nose. I'm not saying hi to you.

Come on now, answering this ruins the surprise.