I guess that if you had to sum me up in one word or less... it would be really hard for you. I would not want that job at all.. But, if that was your job, i guess that might be cool. If someone would pay you to come up with a word about me for 40 hours a week with a good insurance plan, including dental, that wouldn't be so bad. I mean i wouldn't go bragging at my 10 year reunion about that job. I would totaly lie and come up with something else, like a white-slave trader..Or a Bic lighter repairman..Or porn choreographer..You get the idea..By the way, I'm a bit of a smart ass. Or like my mom calls me, "you little shit, how many times have i told you that shaving my head while i sleep is not a good way to stay in my will. I mean it this time!"...Ha! Mom's can be so sensitive sometimes, eh?.. I forgot what i was talking about..Oh yeah..me..Well i guess thats all i have to say about me. If you want to know more you really need to take some time to do a little soul-searching and ask yourself if your life has really gotten that bad that you would desire to open up that can of awesome worms and rub them all over your body till you're...ok, im done i promise..

You're still here? Hmmm. Ok. So apprently I've left a lot of questions unanswered. Yes I am quite the sarcastic. But, I do have the ability to be serious.. Its just so bleedin borin, in'it? But for those of you who'd like to know the real me, here goes..

I'm a son of a lead guitarist(no, I won't tell you the name of the band. Don't ask) and a playboy bunny. They split up when I was 2. I moved back in forth between their two very different lifestyles, went to 13 different schools including 4 different high schools. Some people think that would suck but i think it made me a more well rounded person. I can make friends fast because of it.

I play any sport I can. I'm on 3 different softball teams, a soccer team and play basketball on thursday nites. I taught myself how to play guitar, I have six. I've written 22 songs, mostly blues.
I owned a small paint company. I painted houses for ten years, and I must say that I was pretty damn good.Now I am a bar manager for a great place on the fox river, come up and see me some time.

I can be well spoken and polite, I can be sloppy drunk perfoming magic at the bars. I joke too much. I drink too much. I laugh at myself. People either love me or they hate me or they think im ok. I don't dish out compliments, I think they should be earned. When i find something i want no one can stop me. As much of d*ick as I can be, I can also be one of the most romantic and thoughtful gents you ever met. Yes, the rumors are true, I prefer Craig Fergeson to Conan O'Brien.

Wow.. I'm impressed. You read the whole thing. I'm not sure I've even done that. Well I'll reward you with a bit of honesty. I realize this profile is a little extravigant. Basically I'm just a silly guy. I don't take this site seriously. I'm just here for the cheap entertainment and maybe some good conversation.

Date?... What is this strange word you speak of? Here is my opinion on dates. Spending time with a stranger, doin the whole dinner, movie, long walk on the beach after anal thing, can be a painful, drawn out affair that involves two people who may have nothing in common stuck together for an entire night of awkward conversation...Unless you're buying, then its awesome!...