I sometimes wish Zombies would eat all the jerks of the world. Then I start thinking about how many Zombies it would take to eat all the fat people and realize its not possible :( I do however still have a Zombie survival plan in place. (Just to be safe)

I often times have random thoughts and a lot of them are about dating. I wonder if people even think before putting up dating profiles. It would appear a large number of people only think about what they want instead of what they may be able to offer. For example, I was reading a headline the other day where a woman said she wanted a good looking, rich and funny man. I didn't think there was anything a matter with wanting that until I looked at her profile. she was 450 pounds had 5 kids by 5 different dads, lived with her mother and had neither a job or car. Needless to say I was kinda shocked. I thought, why would a good looking, rich and funny man want anything to do with you? You may be thinking to yourself, "this guy is so dumb, its was just a joke", but I assure you the profile was real because I messaged her and asked a few questions.

so in the spirit of my above rant here is what I have to offer.

Job
Car
Don't live with my parents
No kids by 6 different moms
College educated
Never been to jail or arrested.... and no DUI's
In good shape (This means NOT FAT for the people who get confused when their 275 pounds and put athletic or average)
Good looking (I know this might be arrogant to say but based upon peoples usual opinion of my looks I feel this to be true)
Funny (Same as above. Lets just say, if someone gets one of my emails and doesn't laugh I'm surprised)

I do have more to offer but I think that list will get us started.

The list above is not a rule book but more of a guideline to what I want. If you don't have any of the above (or very few of them) we will not be a good match.

HATE MAIL!!!
I figured I'd post up a little hate mail so we could all have a laugh at silly people.

"I really enjoyed receiving the email from you and I thought it was so sweet, but then I looked at your face and it made me puke. Your a looser, and people like you will never find anyone. So good luck to disgusting, ugly, people like you. Watch out a zombie might eat you. LOOSER! Oh my goodness you live in your own apartment....oh you big roller you...livin the high life. FREAK. Your such a looser. Get a life and your not good looking. Your sick."

"Ya right loser"

"I only dates people that are no more than two years younger, and that are Bible thumpers, but... nice email ;-)
AND... my kids have different dads. But that's OK, because I'm not looking for a rich, handsome man. I'll date any loser that will take me. As long as he's a Bible thumper and near my age."

"Yeah right. Ugly ****. Keep your smart ass sh*tto yourself. Ugly mother ****er!"

"**** you!"

"Reality may set in and you are not what you think you are. Your aura may just give you away."

"I will be honest, I did get a laugh, but also I got to thinking, that behind that humor you probably have a hate, a hate that breeds inside of you."

"Do not feel flattered that I would send this to you as hate mail"

"Although your message made me laugh, I only date adults not little boys. Sorry"

Coffee is a good starting point