My name is Russel with one L, and I'm a selfish a$$hole. I've been told that I am all that and a very expensive bag of chips. I tried letting women rate my image, but the numbers on the scale didn't go high enough. Some people say that I think the world revolves around me, but I told them not to be so silly. It's more like the Universe. They didn't have "me" under religion, so I just selected "other".

Looking for Mr. Right? Then you're not looking for me. But when you get tired of all of those boring nice guys, I'm what's left. Yeah. You like that. I like my cheese in a can. I had a much more formal profile until I took out the garbage. Must be trash day. I was wondering what that smell was. No, wait, I think I just farted. "Oh my god, so gross!". And yes, I just said that on my profile.

Girl, I'd take you to McDonald's. Get you a Happy Meal. Maybe even let you keep the toy. That toy may only be available for a limited time, but you and me? Girl, we last forever