first allow me to appologize for not having a picture taken of myself with my cell phone shirtless in the bathroom. having read some profiles it seems to be the easiest way to a girl's heart. besides whats the point when a picture doesn't even appreciate the pecs in more than just two dimensions, useless.

i probably shouldn't really say this, but everyone thinks it, if you're going to post a picture of you and a hot friend, or you and a group, doesn't it only make sense to be the hot friend? otherwise it's like when you first take a bite into a chicken finger and aw crap its dark meat, not even the sweet and sours gunna save it.

First and foremost, i'm a man, i watch four shows, nip/tuck, entourage, rescue me and sports...i DON'T watch grey's anatomy, mostly because it makes me cry.

The only thing in life that pisses me off are bouncers, seriously...you bounce for a living, too legit to quit homie, give up the dream of being a club promoter and get a G-O-B.

I have a job because its socially expected, the same reason i wear pants. Not something i wanna do, but try buying beef jerky without either.

why the ef would someone post a picture where you're quite obviously sh*t face drunk, drink spilt all over your shirt, with your tongue out of your face. the ONLY time sh*t face drunk is hot is when i too am sh*t face drunk or quite possibly if our spill stains match.

sometimes i just don't wear pants, no compromise. so when i meet your parents for the first time when they come over for thanksgiving, you give thanks that i did compromise on the wifebeater.

don't ask me why but it bothers me when non italian people say ciao. ciao, seriously? not socially acceptable, take a geography class.

I do however enjoy puppies.

It's taken years but i think i've finally established THE most perfect, sincere, romantic and genuine date known to man. First allow me to pick you up (i'll be late) in an LCBO parking lot, where it's been predetermined we're going to get dinner at some dime a dozen joint like kelsey's before we hit up the movies to watch sex and the city part 12. order whatever you like, on me, look classy enough to get whats most expensive, but please for my sake don't eat it, then i'll think you're fat and glutonous. Oh lets walk to the theatre so you can complain how cold it is and make me look like a douchebag because i'm not wearing a coat to offer you. wow, that movie was even better than sex and the city part 11, lets go grab a coffee. ya hi, can i get an english breakfast tea with a 1/8th reduction of partially skimmed milk, a hint of vanilla and a pinch of sugar for my date please? me? ya i'll have a coffee...black. ok, heres your place, i had a wonderful time, maybe i'm supposed to call you, or text you, email is easiest im so busy the next 3 months but it was awesome, i feel like ive known you forever, like you didnt even need to remind me how you like your tea. walk you to the door, ya i so would, but didnt you see when that door that time hit me in the achille's, didnt you notice how fast i drove, i could hardly control my accelerator foot. ok, ya, you're having useless driveway conversation when im quite blatently pretending i have to work on sabboth day. ok, i'll call you tomorrow, don't forget your doggie bag. strip club.