NOTICE: I am not going to message you first. If you want to talk, please message me, then prepare for the deluge.

You remember how on Seinfeld there was always this one particular thing about every single girl Jerry dated that drove him crazy? No? Then go away.

CAVEAT SPECTOR: I am not bitter. I am sarcastic. Do not mistake the actual and the apparent.

MOCKINGLY: If you want to be successful and not waste your time do this. SURE THING, PAL!

1. Talk about your hobbies: My hobbies are philosophy and literature and self-improvement and social reform. Other than that, I love to write letters with dip pens in illegible cursive on laid stationery. [EDIT: I also have a vintage typewriter that requires amazing digital fortitude].
2. Talk about your goals/aspirations: My proximal goal is to become financially independent. Towards this end I am awaiting the next fall semester so I can apply to less exclusive graduate programs and/or redirect my studies into a different field, e.g. polysomnography and working bad jobs during the interim. My remote goals are probably nothing you'd want to hear about, as they involve a lot of heavy reading and a lot of revolutionary action.
3. Talk about youself (sic) and what makes you unique: I am unique because who isn't.
4. Your taste in music: Massive Attack is on right now. Today (28 January 2009) I listened to the complete Hank Williams, Sr. Best ever. If you really want to know look up "teddyvamp" on last.fm.

Yes, I do have a car. I'm glad this is somehow relevant.

I value individuals who strive to carve their own niche out of the blanket monotony and uniformity of the banal herd by making recourse to profoundly meaningful ornaments of distinction. Like Playboy bunny tattoos.

Also, let me take the time to personally thank you all for enjoining me from being less than perfect-looking ("lookin' for a hottie!"), updating me about your worthless trivia ("Hair cut: 10 inches off 3/10/2009"), and forbidding me to talk about my personal misfortunes ("DRAMA-FREE PLEASE!"). God forbid I gain weight, loathe garrulity, and/or have serious things on my mind.

In closing, let's get this religious mess out of the way: I am opposed to any religion which demands worship of a deity who created you as subordinate to itself OR any religion which teaches self-annihilation as the proper course of existence. Obviously, I am therefore opposed to Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Mormonism, Scientology, Buddhism, Christianity, certain species of Paganism, Hellenism (although I consider myself to be almost entirely Homeric), and just about any religion you can name. It's not because I'm a haughty prick a la Richard Dawkins, whom I also detest. It's rather that I am an existentialist humanist in favor of life, pride, equality and liberty. UPDATE: I just saw a Christopher Hitchens debate the other night. I am now an enormous Christopher Hitchens fan. If you're into agnosticism/atheism AND are pro-life, he's yer man.

Lifted from another user's profile: "I love to read and while I'd like to impress you with my choices, my true guilty pleasure is picking out brightly covered books... preferably romance novels." --If you're anything like this person please do NOT message me. This is a request but I believe it to be a humble one.

Tea. For two. Conversation. Either sex can apply (POF forces users to choose between male or female, which is sort of benighted if you ask me, but I'm affine with either). Probably a one time thing, unless you're divinely intriguing. UPDATE: I'm ready to start dating again, and there I only respond to females. Now I can't afford to go off dazzling you with trips to Madrid or anything, but fortunately I have such an intense and complex personality you won't mind the temporary lack of money. This will also serve to prove that not all women are gold-diggers. Or, so I hope.

HERE IS MY IMPRESSION OF MOST PEOPLE ON THIS SITE: HELLO I AM VERY INTERESTING ALTHOUGH I CANNOT EXACTLY SAY WHY I AM LOOKING FOR THE EMBODIMENT OF ALL MY DREAMS IF THAT IS NOT YOU THEN DO NOT BOTHER BECAUSE MY DREAMS ARE INFALLIBLE EVEN THOUGH THEY'VE YET TO BE TESTED AND ALSO I KINDA WANT A PURRFECT LIFE SO IF YOU COULD GIVE ME THAT THEN YOU ARE PERMITTED TO MAKE ME DINNER OR BUY ME DINNER OR OTHERWISE MAKE SURE I EAT TONIGHT.


Lifted directly from POF's suggestions regarding tact:

Women’s Top Ten Favorite Conversation Topics

1. Hopes and aspirations
2. Hobbies/interests in general
3. Music
4. Dreams
5. Romance
6. Friends
7. Travel
8. Vacations
9. Movies
10. Entertainment

Women’s Top Ten Least Favorite Conversation Topics

1. Politics
2. Other dates
3. Past relationships
4. Science fiction
5. Religion
6. Celebrities
7. Science
8. Antiques
9. Money
10. History

Apparently, POF thinks women are stupid, because science, antiques, and history are cool.

So, as you can see above I am prolix and enjoy biting humor so if that is not somehow anathema to you then répondez s'il vous plaît.