Hate to laugh and travel. DO NOT like exciting things. Love boredom, I am no fun and I have no sense of humour. Hate kitten, puppies, my mother and sunny days. Love dark stormy drizzly nights and rarely leave the house.

YOU:
- must not necessarily eat pasta with utensils
- must shower once a month (whether you need it or not)
- must be under 85
- must appreciate my musical armpit routine.
- full set of teeth not mandatory.
- must be ok with dressing up as farm animals on occasion.
- must not expect sex on the first date. (Oh alright)
- must not have"enjoy spending time with my friends" in your profile. It's pretty obvious that a person enjoys spending time with thier friends otherwise THEY WOULDN'T BE YOUR FRIENDS!! Ok the really hot chicks who have that in thier profile can still respond.

Me:
- I am very special, ask my mother
- My favorite hobby is whittling, although I find it very challenging I'm gettin' the hang of it
- I am the title holder of the 2010 Tobacco Chewing Championship of the Greater Buckeye area.
- I'll never marry another cousin ever again. The family get togethers are a little uncomfortable.
- Just bought a brand new Comadore 64.
- First date might have to be a day date if I only make day parole.
- Is it just me or does anyone else find BO sexually stimulating?
- Richard Simmons is my hero.
- I'm laid back, especially when lying down on my back.
- I'm down to earth except when I am flying.
- My plans for world domination are coming along nicely.
- Am wondering why people list the places they have travelled to like travelling is some sort of special skill. Anyone can travel. It's not like they're doing the actual flying or anything... the pilot does that. All you have to do is sit there...I mean really.
- But enough about me. What about you, what do you think of me?

FAVORITE PAST TIME: Tying one end of a chain to the bumper of a parked and the other end to the load bearing walls of tall buildings and watch the poor unsuspecting driver turn pale in horror at the ensuing chaos as he/she/him/her/it drives away.

PLEASE PASTE THE FOLLOWING ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS BEEN A VICTIM OF LEFT HANDED ALIEN B**CH SLAPPING.

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OH Yes, DON'T FORGET TO SAVE THE GAY BABY WHALES.

My view on politics? Well notwithstanding, here-to-fore, forthwith, I feel that their is a de facto semblance of symbiotic discombobulation vis a vis the promulgation of the triumvirate's exculpatory, capricious and arbitrary manner, it's all very serriptitous and extemporaneous at best. It's an enigma wrapped in a riddle really. It's flouting the conventions of society and it will not stand. It's lude, lucivious and perniciously proposterous. It's outrageous and flagrantly eggregious in a sub-aggregate, post fusionistic sort of way with respect to the time-space continuum. And it also may really end up being a moot euphamism. Pretty simple really.


NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.

In reality I am a 38 year old male looking for someone special to share all that life has to offer. I absolutley love to travel (who doesn't) whether it's it long vacations or weekends or simply day trips. I love dining out, movies,plays etc. etc. etc. Almost anything turns my crank. I am also definately not averse however, to a quiet evening at home by the fire with the right person.

I have a degree in finance/economics and work in the field. I take good care of myself by running several times per week. Love most types of music and used to play guitar in band( we actually made it on TV once). I actually do love to laugh,lolololololol. See.

I feel that the best relationships are ones that have a balance and have a commitment to see it through a few bad times as well as all the good times. I am one gives his all in a relationship, for better or worse and tend to love unconditionally. (Sometimes to my detriment but hey, that's just the way I am).

So, if the above interests you and you are between 25ish and 85ish then I'd love to hear from you. You just never know where it might lead.

Hope to talk to you soon.

I think a first date between people who have never actually met should be simple but I promise it won't be boring. Something like meeting for coffee to see if there is any chemistry should do it. If there is a spark then anything goes from that point on.