My self-summary

**WARNING VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED**

First of all, I had to get my sense of humor out of the way so hence the goofy title. So this is how they do it these days huh... Well, what can I say? Maybe I could start by telling you what my friends/family say about me. Now remember, I am just repeating what other people say so don't think I'm like this "I love talking about myself" dude... Writing about oneself is difficult at best, but I'll give it my best shot.

I am told I am great guy, that I am kind, that I am trustworthy, that I have a great sense of humor, that I am tall, that I am great with kids, that I am understanding, that I am a hopeless romantic, that I am giving, that I am a fantastic Chef, that I give great back-rubs, that I am handsome (debatable), that I am extremely loyal, that I am somewhat intelligent (definitely debatable), that I do not structure my sentences properly, that I'm OCD when it comes to loading the dishwasher, that I can make a mean margarita, that I'm a good driver (like that would matter to you), that I'm a great kisser, that I have a great family, that I have a cute dog...

I think that it is kind of lame when people put down requirements for what kind of person they are looking for. I really don't have any requirements for the girl I'm looking for because how can you pick and choose the characteristics of someone you've never met? If I had to choose, I guess I would like her to be loving, kind, punctual, honest, trustworthy & flexible enough that she would make a contortionist in a circus jealous. (jk about the punctual part) Everything else after that is a bonus!

What I'm doing with my life:
I am currently filling in the "what am I doing with my life" portion of my profile.

**UPDATE** I have since moved on and am not filling in the "what am I doing with my life" portion of my profile anymore. Wait, yes I am...

I'm really good at:
Cooking, deep sea fishing, wine tasting, poker (I guess), anything in the bedroom :)

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me:
My sense of humor & my personality. I'm fairly outgoing and I can fit in anywhere. Except, say, inside a small piece of carry-on luggage. I will not do that.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food:
Books - Anything by Tom Clancy Movies - action, scifi, comedy, Music - anything that doesn't primarily consist of "tappin dat azz" or "rollin wit da homies", Food - anything I cook is perfection. Oh yes, I like Cake. Not the food, the Band. Wait, no, I do like cake the food... Ok, I have to put more bands down because I like more than just Cake the band. And the food. I also like Genesis, 311, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Alice In Chains, Andrea Bocelli (not a band), Art Of Noise, B52's, Beastie Boys, Beck, Bare Naked Ladies, Black Eyed Peas, Blind Melon, Blues Traveler, Bob Marley, Brian Seltzer Orchestra, Candlebox, Coldplay, Collective soul, Crash Test Dummies, The Cure, Dave Matthews, Deep Forest, Depeche Mode, Elton John, Enigma, Erasure, Evanescence, Everclear, Everlast, Extreme, The Farm, Fatboy Slim, Fergie (yeah, I know gay), Filter, The Fixx, Garbage, Gin Blossoms, Goldfrapp, Goo Goo Dolls, Gorillaz, Green Day, Gwen Stefani, Hall and Oates, Harry Connick Jr., Colin Hay from Men At Work, Herbie Hancock, INXS, Joe****r, Judas Preist, K7 (that song Come Baby Come), Kevin Federline (just kidding), Korn, Kraftwerk, Lene Lovich, Lenny Kravitz (I wonder if he's Jewish), Level 42, Lords of Acid, Melissa Etheridge, Men At Work, Men Without Hats, New Order, Nickleback, NIN, Oasis, Oingo Boingo, A Perfect Circle, Pet Shop Boys, Peter Gabriel, Presidents of the United States of America (the peaches song), Puddle of Mud, Queen, Radiohead, Rogue Wave (the Eyes song), Royksopp (that song from the Geico commercial), The Smiths, Squeeze, Stabbing Westward, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Styx, Sublime, Supertramp, Talking Heads, The The, Veruca Salt, The White Stripes, White Zombie, Yaz, Yes, Amy Winehouse, Rolling Stones, UB40.... Whew... That was just one playlist.

The six things I could never do without:
Air, water, food, love, sex & money

I spend a lot of time thinking about:
Striving to become a better man

On a typical Friday night I am:
Making dinner for family, friends, out at a movie, having a drink with friends. I also like to call the 800 numbers on the back of shampoo bottles and ask them relevant questions such as "Ok, so if I've got this straight, I repeat, rinse then wash?"

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here:
I like to eat bowls of sugar and throw little pickles at people on occasion. But seriously folks, I also like the song Quando Quando Quando by Engelbert Humperdinck. Sure, you may think it's odd, but just put on the damn song and you'll see it's impossible not to sing along. Resistance is futile! Fine, I'm not sharing here anymore...

You should message me if:
you're comfortable doing that kind of thing, perhaps you do it for a living or you feel the need to relive peoples stress...wait, oh, Message! I thought it said massage. You should massage me if you feel that I'm the snake inside your garden, the sugar in your tea, the knock upon your back door, the twist that turns your key... Am I the sweat you feel on your head? The shadow on your face? The tune inside your head that put you here in the first place?

Or if you're just bored...

So if you're haven’t fled for the hills yet and what you've read either made you laugh or intrigued you, why don't you say hello? I have lots more four to eight word descriptions of me to tell you about :)

We would start our fairytale date by going to the Bloodmobile and donating some red blood cells. After that, we could drink some juice and eat cookies for about 30 minutes.

We could take the free movie passes we would get and see a movie of your choice (or my choice, whichever you prefer.) After that, we could take advantage of the myriads of discounts offered to us for being such great human beings and paint the town red.

We could go to Chuck E Cheeses and crash the Birthday parties going on there and dance the night away in their television studio. After that, we could go to an art museum and say things like, "I could paint that!" and, "That doesn't look so hard!" We could stand in front of priceless works and sign autographs like we were the artist.

We could go people watch at a dog park and throw little kosher dill pickles at the "posers". Or, we could just play it by ear...

Oh yes, and we would definitely have to get some silly string and have a battle.