I believe that too much focus is placed on finding the perfect mate.
I also feel that this is not about me, it's about US; therefore, I have used this
opportunity to list things that I find as positives in a relationship.
I consider it very important to forge a close friendship initially, and see where
that may grow.
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I'm not sure if this can ever exist, but at least it does in my heart and in my mind:
To really have someone who understands you/ gets you, and they accept you completely
for who you are, and even encourage you to be exactly who you are -- to whatever
degree that may be, and vice-versa.
The 2 of you are a United Front on all things--there will be times when two people
do not see eye-to-eye on all things, but this goes back to having had long talks
about ALL things before you are together as a couple, and I believe, forming
agreements on them- not waiting until there is an issue. I believe that this
effectively eliminates issues. It also involves compromise in some areas.
I'd like to think that we would make decisions together, and that he would value my
input or ask me to make a decision on matters as well. It's all for the good of the team.
Although I do not need it, I'd like to KNOW that he's my soft place to fall, got my
back at all times, will stand beside each other in all things, just as I will do these things for him, no holds barred. We would forge such a formidable bond, that noone would mess with it, knowing that there is absolutely NO chance inbreaking it, much less the repercussions that they MIGHT suffer for this insult or folly.
A man who will lead in a good way, who will look me straight in the eye on all
matters and keep me by his side; and when times are tough he'll draw me closer,
knowing that I am his strongest ally. He'll never push me away or ignore me, but
will seek my company and opinions.
I want a best friend, playmate, confidante, lover, running buddy, etc. I know that
there is change in life , but I do not want THOSE things to change;
I want a stable , consistent relationship, but one that is full of love and fun and the joy of living and sharing together.
He will have STRENGTH in all that matters; (depth of )character, determination, values, morals, self, compassion, etc.
What are the things that are absolute no's and that I cannot tolerate?
I can 'tolerate' a lot; I dont' really have any 'Absolutes' other than the obvious
ones that come to mind : Abuse, Neglect, Dishonesty, Negativity, Withholding from one another/shutting them out , distrust, disrespect, placing ultimatums on ANYthing (control), narcissism, etc. I would imagine that these things would be revealed in the dating process.
I wish all of you the best of luck in your search.
BTW, pof keeps deleting part of my headline- it is supposed to read , Team "us"
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