I am a selfish prick. A girl friend texted me on Valentine's Day and said "so what's a single guy like you, do on Valentines Day." My response: "Save money."

I wake up everyday, look in the mirror, and chant to myself "you're a stud" 50-100 times because it makes my teeth white. I’m freshly divorced from my seventh wife, have 5 delinquent kids… My pad is pretty sweet, I got a pimped out RV parked in the driveway of a foreclosed house across the street from my parents. Also, I am excited by the fact that I finally have a good chance at finally getting a job... as a male stripper.

I don't have a whole lot of hobbies other than going to area high schools and picking fights with high school freshman. I don't want to make this too long, so to here's me in a nutshell...

If I had to write a personals ad for the newspaper it would read something like this: "I am an extremely well hung and insanely sexually talented man who is looking for a married woman, who wants to make her husband jealous - in order to procure expensive gifts from him."

Nuff said, I hope.

By the way, I get hundreds of messages daily from women, and please do not be mad if I do not reply soon enough b/c I'm bootlegging wireless off a laptop I stole from my parents and sometimes the internet goes out.

Ciao.


Disclaimer: If you actually managed to genuinely laugh at this profile, SCORE BROWNIE POINTS FOR YOU!! :-P If you took all of this seriously, well that's just uncouth.


About me really... I'm a big ball of creativity, passion, drive, innovation... and; love.

We can share a TV dinner and watch illegally downloaded movies or somethin. If it's warm out we can do it on lawn chairs outside my place.

j/k! First date: Let's keep it light and simple. Bowling, or mini golf, or if there is some live music playing somewhere, that'll be cool too... It's hard to say for sure, it totally depends on the energy YOU give off! We'll make it fun tho!