I'm fun loving, open-minded, a good listener and have a self-deprecating sense of humour. Love fixing and driving exotic or classic cars and playing football.

In the I.T. profession before I went to France for 3 years in 2005 now I currently work for myself because I'm very good at what I do (he said modestly) so can choose my hours. But will go back to 9 to 5 job eventually for a change of pace. Wanted to point that out because one thing I ain't is a computer bore. Having said that if you do have a craving to talk electronics there's a short rather rotund guy next door who would love to chat to a woman about about the merits of updating your graphics card. Don't think he's been on a date since the A-Team tv show finished, yes he's going bald and he's always in a vest and he's been arrested a few times hanging around outside Dorothy Perkins but nobody is perfect.

Likes - breathing, cuddling, thinking, standing, sitting, walking, pubs, clubbing, techno trance, Lou Tiger, Placebo, luxury and exotic cars(old and new), expensive aftershave, the tv shows Peep Show, Inbetweeners, Topgear,'The Shield', Dexter, 'Escape to the Country'(ruddy love that show), 'Inspector Morse', women who laugh a lot, autobiographies of dead people(this way they can't do updates).

I should point out I was asked to join by my friend because he said the people on here were interesting, attractive and some may let me use their holiday homes and swimming pools.

Oh if only I could find a woman who likes shopping, expensive restaurants, fast exotic cars, country pubs, shoes and jewellery. I know what you are all thinking "That's like looking for a needle in a haystack".

As my parole officer said to me "Mark you are very funny but i can't go out with because i could lose my job, now please just put the pen back that you slipped in your pocket".

Looking for somebody with a beautiful kitchen (recessed downlights are so sexy) to take care of me and my sister and her 3 kids and our nan and my uncle(since the accident he gets lost a lot) and help out with our 4 rabbits hamster and budgie as the caravan is getting a bit tight now, plus i think we have a slow puncture because we keep losing ITV.

Looking to share things like my credit card bill and my gym membership fees. Somebody who will keep calm when the Police kick the door in and not shout out "He's hiding under the stairs, He's hiding under the stairs.".

It's a shame so many women's profiles end with "I don't want a
liar/cheat/timewaster/playboy/user/gameplayer" i mean these are my best qualities.

It was noted that in lonely hearts adverts women say what they want from a man and a relationship and a man describes or brags about himself so i set up a think tank and what you see above is what we came up with, so if you don't like it it's nothing to do with me.

- ATTENTION -
Have you been hurt through a relationship that wasn't your fault?
Have you had your feelings injured at work by a romeo?
Than you may be entitled to compensation.
Contact us at suehisass.com and we may be able to help you.

Maybe go to a coffee shop for an argument and a cream cake and get you to take a lie detector test.

or

Kick down your door and give you a fireman's lift to the fast car and whisk you off to somewhere ridiculously expensive.

or

Having said that we could go to the pub and play pool. I'll be a sexist pig and let you win a couple of games then I'll suggest we play for a £1 a game and then whip your ass by 10 games to nil and then you will suss I was hussling you and you will call me names I'll say "but babe I've never played this game before" and you'll say something like "You think I was born yesterday? you have to get up pretty early in the afternoon to catch me out you low life sleazebag, I'm off and don't call me or txt me unless you inherit a chocolate factory".