Compared to...
Dakota Fanning I am old;
Sean Connery I am young;
Nicole Richie I am fat;
Roseanne Barr I am skinny;
Bob Saget I am funny;
Ben Stiller I am unfunny;
Brad Pitt I am ugly;
Steve Buscemi I am hot;
George W. I am smart;
Stephen Hawking I am stupid;
Carson Daly I am cool;
Steve McQueen I am lame;
MC Hammer I am rich;
Bill Gates I am poor;
Angela Lansbury I am strong;
The Rock I am weak;
Yao Ming I am short;
Verne Troyer I am tall;
Nathan Lane I am quiet;
Marlee Matlin I am loud;
Adolf Hitler I am good;
Mother Teresa I am bad;
You I am normal.

Note: If you don't live in Sonoma County, please don't bother... unless you're willing to come to Santa Rosa.


I'm picky about women, so a perfect match for me would be physically attractive. She should have direction in her life, so would probably be working or in school for a career. She needs to be fun and interesting with plenty of hobbies and interests. I'd hope she can enjoy or at least tolerate my sarcastic/dry sense of humor. I'm pretty quiet, but open up when I'm more comfortable with people. I would want a woman who can hold a conversation. She should like animals since I do and since I have pets. I am generally a clean person. I... will write more later.

Dinner and a movie because I am that original. Perhaps a walk, a visit to a zoo, museum, concert, etc. Depends on what you like.