It used to be so hard to find beautiful women who I have something in common with. I like music, computers, and movies; they like pepper spray and restraining orders.

I mean, I consider myself a person of deep integrity, substance, passion and sensitivity, someone who honestly seeks a genuine connection with a kindred soul. So why should I settle for ugly chicks?

Then I discovered the "Axe Effect". I haven’t yet found a supermodel, regular model, aspiring model, or former model who doesn’t appreciate the aroma of my presence after soaking myself with this little can of magic. I’m not even a chick, and this stuff is making me hot for myself.

I'm only looking for a couple (maybe 4 at the most) girlfriends, so you better act fast before all the positions are filled.

So what am I looking for in a date?

I want someone who can keep me on my toes... a woman who's beautiful, super cool and smart. Just because a woman is good looking, it doesn’t mean she’s ATTRACTIVE. I'm looking for things IN ADDITION TO beauty and a great figure... things like: integrity, honesty, trust, loyalty, respect, consideration, sense of humor, open communication and mostly... good energy. You know what you want, and you aren’t afraid to say so, and you won’t play games, because you don’t have the time.

Ok, now - a little about me:

Talk is cheap, so there's no sense in telling you how great I am by describing myself with a bunch of flattering words.

Instead I'll list some of my less appealing qualities, and if you can live with those, then my good qualities are just icing.

I am sometimes impulsive and restless, I cried like a little girl when I watched "The Notebook" - twice. I have a somewhat sick sense of humor, and I stay up too late way too often, and I have little patience for people who don't keep their word, show up late to things, and are generally flaky.

There's a lot more to a person than can be put in a few paragraphs, so if you'd like to know more, send me an email. Who knows? I might like you too.

P.S. If parts of my profile offend you, I'm going to teach you a couple of words that might make your life a little more fun:

Facetious (Adjective)
1. Treating serious issues with deliberately inappropriate humor; flippant.

Sarcasm (noun)
1. A form of humor that is marked by mocking with irony, sometimes conveyed in speech with vocal over-emphasis. Saying something that is opposite of what is intended to be meant.

It doesn't really matter what we do. It's all about the attitude and people you're with that makes it fun.

I would most likely start out with something casual like coffee or drinks, then see where it goes from there.

Of course, since we're meeting on the internet, we'll drive our separate cars and meet there. I'll be the guy in the car across the street with binoculars. That way, if you're scary, or giving off that weirdo/ax murderer vibe, I can ditch without having invested too much time.

If you don't see a car disappearing in a cloud of smoke and smell the distinct odor of burning rubber, then we'll probably have a pretty good time.