DISCLAIMER: I CANNOT HANG WITH AN AVERAGE BRAIN - YOU MUST BE SHARP & INTELLIGENT!! I'm smart and I plan to keep learning; I can't date a guy who isn't intellectually hungry. :D If you never finished college (now akin to dropping out of high school) - there is nothing for you here.
I've always winced at the thought of online dating... but in the name of openmindedness, f*** it. Here goes...
I played catch with a pair of scissors one rainy day in preschool. What can I say, I was an impulsive kid. After 20 years I just had eye surgery to correct the results of THAT game.
I like big dogs - I grew up with great danes and look forward to having my own one day.
I am a novice surfer, been snowboarding for years but I'm no stuntlady - I prefer to keep being able to do these activities for many years.
I enjoy outdoor activities just a teeny bit less than snuggling up with my guy for a movie or the NYTimes crossword.
My job this year had me waistdeep in a tidepool to pull a corpse out of the water (relax, he was a freshie). Then I went out to lunch and ate a delicious omelette in my soaking wet pants and shoes. MMM mmm!
I'm affectionate, a big snuggler. I love sex too, but not with penises under 6".
The last thing I want is for my sexlife to be 'work'. Let's not have a huge conversation about it - just save us both the heartbreak and don't message me if you have one.
I'm not really into astrology but I totally fit the Aquarian description.
I drink tea at all times and have an extremely specific and demanding sweet tooth. HARIBO is the only gummy worth eating - and I eat my candy according to color.
My music taste is broad - movies often offbeat (the Wackness, Big Lebowski, etc). I use quotes from movies in everyday conversation, and I pretty much lose respect for people who don't care about lyrics. I miss Dave Chappelle. :*(
I think video games are retarded - I want my future kids to be cut up and bruised from climbing trees and riding bikes, not fat-assed in front of the TV being conditioned for army drone piloting. That goes for my partner as well.
I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion and someone else puts it on me - bad eye, remember? :)
I like people who have: brains/college degree*, humor and wit, nicknames that don't include a first initial + 'dog' or 'dawg', self-confidence (not narcissism), resilience, strength of character, a willingness to learn and be taught (humility), those who have been through some sh*t in life and pushed through it (I'm not gonna make your lemonade for you!)
If any of these are among your 'favorites', we're gonna have issues: Nickelback, Nicholas Cage, Star Wars costumes, Ed Hardy and other douche trash apparel, Elijah Wood, Blink 182, Steven Segal, National Treasure, Warcraft/Halo/etc, Big Trouble in Little China (and pretty much any Kurt Russell film), Andre Nickatina, bong rips, closing the bar, Twizzlers, cigarettes, Love Actually, fast food.
I prefer to meet someone who aims to spend their professional life making a positive impact on people/the planet - hence Advertising execs, salesmen, or those who just want to make tons of money to buy things or spend their lives convincing others to buy things won't mesh well with me.
No small penises (seriously), seriously religious faith, frequent drinkers or stoners, douchy facial hair styles (i.e. the Berkeley Beard, anal-retentive chinstrap or Flavr Savr), high maintenance egos, gamers, Republicans, military men/law enforcement (see "brains, humility, self-confidence" above). If you're over 34...no dice.
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