http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LQJ7dDQJu8 my friend who lives in TX wanted me to make a video of my new car, and since im pumped about it I figured I would share

This just in......Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery..hah


Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other patron will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”


Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]


Im a not so regular guy...im straight foward and I dont play games or have drama. I work with kids with Autism, which most people initially question. I dont look like someone with a lot of patience, but I am depending on the person and the situation. Definitely not a pretty boy...as you can tell, Ive been told I make people feel safe? Ive been told my shoulders and my eyes were selling points. I can be articulate and refined, but also blunt and crass. I can be the nicest guy or the biggest ***hole depending on who you are and what you have said/done. Im a simple man with specific standards. I know what im looking for and you may be the prettiest thing in hickville USA but If you don't catch my eye....well...you don't catch my eye.
Im respectful and I believe in treating women right, but im no pushover. Im fairly intelligent (MENSA member)and you should be also. "All I want..is someone I can't resist"... I want a smart, witty, beautiful woman that can appreciate the kind of man all women b*tch about not finding and in the same breath be able to pick on me and give me sh*t when I say/do something stupid. Im going to attempt to avoid the cliche adage.." its hard for me to meet people .......etc." It's not hard for me to meet people...its just hard to meet quality people, and my job severely limits my exposure to meetings of chance. I actually have a job where I work one on one with clients and I only come in contact with them and the immediate family. I do go to bars occasionally but I value my sexual/overall health too much to hook up with the female patrons I meet around here. If by chance you decide to message me, know that I appreciate accuracy in spelling, and I loathe ghetto talk.
Also....Huge plus if you know the difference between there/they're/their...to/two/too...etc.

FYI...I put the no shirt pic not because im a narcissist, but because I put "prefer not to say" under my body type..(I workout daily, but im not skinny or average...but apparently a few extra pounds to most people is 100) I dont think im hot sh*t so I dont wanna get any snide or snarky emails about it.

Im a rip the band-aid off kinda guy
I will break up with someone if we dont have a future
I have never cheated on someone but looking back in retrospect I wonder If i should have
I love being lazy but I rarely allow myself the luxury
cooking is one of my favorite things, but I rarely cook for myself except for the daily grilled chicken
I might be the smartass dumb*ss that has ever walked the earth
I enjoy making a fool out of myself and others.
I enjoy typing sentences that start with "I" (apparently)
In the event of a Zombie apocalypse I am prepared....
My dog is awesome and more trained than the average five year old.
the things I listed under interests are things I actually enjoy/do on a quasi-regular basis...not something that I simply like the idea of...
Dr. Cox is my hero...+5 if you know who that is..


I get along with most people unless you/you're a/are or unaware u a/are: ****, douche, liar, needy, attention whore, too fat, too skinny, complainer, full of sh*t, full of yourself, hater, pats fan, yankee fan, drug abuser, psycho, cursive writer, vegetarian, left wing radical, right wing radical, malingerer, mac user, fanboy, stupid, trekkie, motivational speaker, white, black, other, hairy, hairless, eat more than me, eat less than me, weigh more than me, too serious, too nice, too mean, feminist, activist, pacifist, drive a hyundai, hate howard stern, hate chic peas, hate sushi, order the same thing everytime .....
"Life is what happens when you are busy making plans"

batting cages......concert....club....coffee...go carts....corporate espionage....fishing......stealing hubcaps... dinner........