THIS FIRST PART IS THE BASICS OF WHAT I WOULD LIKE AND FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DONT WANT TO READ A LONG PROFILE...

...NEWSFLASH...I FIGURED OUT WHAT I WANT... I want to find someone to be the last person I see at night and the first person I see in the morning and someone that will make me count the minutes in between...plain and simple. I'm looking to meet new friends, date if there is chemistry, and I'm open to a LTR. I'd like to have fun and see where it goes one day at a time. I would love to go to places I've been (or never been) and experience that with a special person.
I am positive,assertive,selective,straight-forward,easy-going,funny and charismatic. I am real and I don’t promote unrealistic expectations, delusions or a “Fairy Tale Syndrome”. I take pride in my emotional awareness and the ability to attune to people’s emotions and empathize on a basic human level.I am strong-willed,in control of my own feelings and emotions.I have learned that a relationship is not a car that needs to be salvaged when wrecked.
Friends are fine,so is dating,but ultimately I would like to meet someone who is actual long term relationship material.
I am attracted to women who are focused, determined, fun,emotionally unwavering, confident and beautiful,both inside and out. Someone who can relax and enjoy the moment,but at the same time, who is challenging enough to sustain my interest. In other words,she is a woman,not a girl.
Another important thing in a woman is sense of humor. Cutting sarcasm,dry wit,even reducing oneself to puns or silly movie lines,and not simply appreciating each others jokes,but also being partners in crime. I am an incredible smartass at times but know when to turn it off and play nice.
I can be just as happy sitting at the airport or mall people watching as I can going on a random road trip to Glenwood Springs for the day just to sit in the hot springs. I'm probably the most spontaneous,fun person you'll ever meet.




OK STILL WITH ME???
THIS PORTION IS FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ME ME ME...

I never wanted to be a 39 yo single white male writing a description of myself on a dating site but here i am...just want to be happy...is that so difficult? gave up looking for the perfect woman a long time ago because i'm far from perfect myself. I will say however that i am looking for and want to be with a woman who takes care of herself i guess you could say not high maintenance just well maintained...I'm not looking for a hook-up i'm looking for "the one"(blah blah blah i know just like everyone else...) I've been married (did that way too young) and divorced (wasn't young enough). I have children that you won't meet unless you become very special in my life. travel is a great thing just never make time and usually can't afford the type of vacation i'd like, I'm into just about anything fun and i do mean anything...ok minus the weirdo kinky crazy stuff lol. I'm amazed at the lack of originality and honesty on peoples profiles, I'm a lazy & out of shape shitbag, I'm immature, I drink too much and I need therapy. Why not throw it all out there, right? ok so i'm not really out of shape too bad, i mean round is a shape right... And I'd like to comment on the comedy of the "Do you have a car" question. Why not throw in "Do you live with your parents", "Are you or have you been a convict" or even "Do you actually work" questions? I think we all deserve answers to...And lastly, Yes we all take the six best pictures we've ever taken in our lives and put them on here and i realize that. I look like i do in my pictures and they are all recent and hope you do the same. Now i realize not everyone steps out of the house looking like they just did a glamour shots photo shoot but if its not you in the pics or its your high school cheerleading picture and you've gained 200lbs...basically just be honest about who you are now because thats who i will be getting to know please.I really don't think I need therapy. Not yet, anyway. You gotta be able to keep up and not take me too seriously all the time. If you've read this far you're already interested so just send me a message and lets see where it goes from there.

WOW STILL HERE OK...
AND THIS PORTION IS FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT A GOOD LAUGH...

why does jabbing a fork into my eye seem more enjoyable than online dating?:)

Let’s get right to it. The way I have been seeing it lately is this...
Dating is similar to grocery shopping...hear me out.
It starts with the selection of the cart. We walk in remembering the last experience (still having high expectations)....we have our choice of at least one hundred and fifty carts, after only a quick few regrettable moments we make our pick....looks good, not too worn or used, looks better then the rest, only to take it down the aisle and find out our selection was once again WRONG! ...of course the problems didn't show right away...the DAMN cart has an alignment problem, it veers to left then to the right, only to leave you crashing into everything in sight!
Then the damn wheel begins to wobble uncontrollably (not quite sure if it is from all the baggage it's carrying or if it was simply made that way). Then we find ourselves pushing harder and harder trying to make our bad choice work. IT NEVER DOES! (Sound familiar?) Further more we find ourselves compensating for our choice....trying to avoid the buckled eyebrow stair from onlookers who for some reason feel the need to expose our obvious bad choice, we lift the cart ever so slightly to hide the sound of the cart going "thump, thump, thump"........Shit!!! Will this cycle of poor choices ever end? And so our never ending journey continues
.....once again we continue to go in with high expectations, only to leave with the few things we need and or just simply want to give a try. We go with a wallet full of money, only to leave broke with items that we really didn't want and definitely didn't need and this ultimately leaves us coming back for more.??? Why......why......why? Please help me end this cycle of self destruction and help my shopping experience go well. If you have an alignment problem or simply go "thump, thump, thump" I don't want to hear from you. I'm tired of compensating for my bad carts...My needs are this.... a cart that knows how to manage its baggage.......sense of humor is an ABSOLUTE MUST!!!!!!!

There is no "standard" first date i mean really?!?! seriously?!?! I'll pick if you would like but would prefer to do something, somewhere YOU are comfortable with. Mom raised me right so whatever we do you will be treated appropriately ie:doors opened, chair pulled out, i pay for dinner,ice cream,drinks...you know common courtesy...I KNOW CRAZY HUH!!!