We have the next-generation Perfect Man (Beta), which is a work-in-progress.

This has created an OPPORTUNITY FOR BETA-TESTERS!

He is currently available as a prototype "try-before-you-buy" package and with a steep discount if you decide to Rent-To-Own or purchase outright (Contact Now! Operators Standing By!)

Known Issues:


He does not come with a remote-control. He doesn't even know how to use one. He does not ramble endlessly about sports when you pull his chain. He does not have a fascination with NASCAR. Chances are, he has not seen your favorite movie.

Needs help taking time off work. Does not balance work/play independently.

Travels too much. Is away for significant periods of time. Gets trapped in non-US mindsets. Tends to say things like "Have you a litterbin?"

He locks up and must be restarted when asked, "Where are you from?" or "What do you do?"

Has never seen The Office. Does not 'get' F@ceBook/Twitt3r/MySp@ce addiction.

Still looks at the keys to send a text message.

No accessories are available for this model. Kids, ex-wife or other accessories are up to the new owner and may be available at a later date.

Exterior: Many outfits are available on the market if you want to experiment with different fashions. He comes equipped with a limited wardrobe at no extra cost.

Software issues:

Monk 2.0 is not completely uninstalled. Religion components are gone, but behavioral remnants persist.

Loyalty 1.0 installed

Translator 0.9 works for 5 languages.

BeerFinder 0.3.5 works for microbrews/imports. May require single malt Scotch whiskey on occasion.

PornStar 0.8 and SensitiveMan 0.7 are still in beta-testing mode.

GoodListener 1.2 pre-installed and operating.

Thank you for reading. Please contact us if you would like to take advantage of our limited time introductory offer. Operators standing by! Call now!

Coffee? Someplace quiet where we are both comfortable and we can talk.

I'm incredibly busy, so if you read this far, you are interested. Send me a message so I'm not wasting my time on people who are only fantasizing about getting what they want.

If I write you, and you are intrigued even a little bit, write back. If you don't respond, I probably wont contact you again. Too many fish, it seems...

First Date: 'Dates' are for people who have already met. If you are afraid of meeting for coffee/tea/whatever, tell me. I'm good enough to work for agencies that respond to 911 calls, so relax. I'm not too dangerous... to you, anyways.

I travel a lot, so I'm only interested in meeting for coffee for starters. Eventually, I want to settle down more. As it is now I'm almost never 'home' 2 weekends in a row. If I'm not in your town, it's probably because I'm someplace else at the moment. The longer I'm on here, the more selective I'm getting.