Hi. I'm Andy. I'm a nerd. I'm 22, I have my own abode, a unique job, and a car that makes people question my sexuality. The sun tends to make me sneeze, I once owned a pair of llamas, I watch way too much Spongebob Squarepants, and I enjoy talk radio.

I have moderately long hair and five piercings. I do not have any tattoos yet. Perhaps if you're a good enough artist you can draw me a pretty picture and I shall get my skin jabbed with a needle filled with ink repeatedly until it my skin looks like a crude reproduction of what you drew. If you're not so great of an artist, we might still be able to work something out. Perhaps you can design a tattoo for my cat, I think he needs one.

I'm perfectly comfortable making the first move, whether it's a heartfelt hug, a romantic kiss on the door step, or pushing you against the wall and kissing you HARD in the pouring rain. I'm totally comfortable meeting strangers off the internet as I've done it both for my social and professional life more times than I can count. That being said, I do like women who know what they want and aren't afraid to be assertive. Even if it means making the first move. So message me, It will make me like you THAT much more than if I had messaged you.

Now that I've captivated you, (I'm quite the cunning linguist) here are my rules:

* I will not date single mothers (I have my reasons, feel free to inquire if it irks your curiosity)
* Do not message me if you're more than 30 minutes away from Renton, unless you love driving. (No, just because you're in Washington doesn't mean you're close.)
* Bonus points if you have a car
* Bonus points if you're a Burnett with brown eyes

If you're still here, feel free to send me a message. I promise I'm the zaniest craziest most fun guy you've never met. I'm so sure that I will even throw in a total satisfaction no questions asked 30 day money back guarantee!

Why don't we go for picnic on a sunny day? I'd bury you up to your head at a beach, run away and then leave hints around so you can find me. When you've found me, we'll sip some wine and then we'll watch the sunset on a hill together.....looking right through your eyes, give you that sly smile...then I'll pie you in the face!