OK, so here I am trying to come up with something witty and crafty to write in order to attract the perfect woman to read my profile and immediately become overcome with the desire to contact me so that we may begin our lives of nightly (and daily!) carnal delights with one another. Yeah, right. Really, I'd like to find that one person I can really connect with. Who that might be can't be determined until we've actually spent at least *some* time together and not just from browsing a list on the internet.

My hobbies? I play paintball and shoot pool - I'm not great at either but my friends and I don't care because we're mainly in it simply to have fun. What makes me unique? The list is long and diverse, but some of the highlights include that I am intelligent (sometimes overly so but I mostly keep my ego in check), I seem to be full of dichotomies (simpler to have a conversation about this than to try to explain in writing), and if we become friends you will find that if you ever need my help I will be there.

What I would for a first date depends on the person I'm meeting. But generally speaking, I am a simple person and prefer simple activities. First dates are supposed to be comfortable and relaxed so that both can easily gather information about the other and size up our mutual interest. I hate to say it, but the old cliche of meeting at a cafe is appealing. Maybe, if we've had a number of successful email correspondences, we'd start off with dinner at a nice restaurant. We could save the wild and crazy stuff for the next date.