Some women either can't or won't squelch their love of/lust for jerks. I have a pretty good idea of why this is, but that's a conversation for a different time. Needless to say, if you're the same, then that's fine...that's what you like. There's just not a whole lot of point in reading any further. I'm the guy that used to FAKE being a jerk just to get girls (sad that it worked). But, I've been past that for, well about half my life...

Anyway, just saving you the read if that's still your thing.

PROLOUGE

When I started this, I didn't plan to write much more than a few lines. But how do you communicate that you're a solid human being without coming across as an arrogant pr!ck? So it ended up being really long... Then I figured if I was going to write a novel, I might as well give it chapters...

But it is straight from the heart and it will give you some insight into who I am and what I'm about if you're interested in knowing. If you want to skip it and just find out from me directly, well that's cool too...

CHAPTER ONE: ADVERBS ARE FUN
It's a funny thing writing about yourself to someone you've never met. If you were to ask one of my close friends what I was like, they might tell you I'm a dynamic, dualistic, fiercely loyal, dependable, trustworthy, extremely level-headed, cool, funny, talented guy with passions for fun, friends, family and truth (truth in the "higher truth" sense of the word, although the regular truth is important too) oh and possibly baseball. Another might say I'm sincere, down-to-earth, open-minded, extremely patient, and a sweet guy yet still an alpha male. There's not a whole lot that's simple about me, but I do enjoy simple pleasures.

CHAPTER TWO: HE'S A RIGHTEOUS DUUUDE

I get along with just about anyone because I find it easy to relate to just about everyone and I aspire to never, ever judge. 99% chance your parents and friends are going to like me. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and the innate respect they deserve as members of the human race (so I don't ignore homeless people--yet I don't ever give them money either). I have a lot of confidence about who I am as an individual and my opinions yet I have the humility to know that I don't know everything and I'm not always right. Similarly, I tend to find it easy to see most sides of things. I just tend to "get it."

CHAPTER THREE: WHATEVER YOU DO, DOOON'T TALK ABOUT EXes, POLITICS OR...

I consider myself very spiritual-minded, without certainty, yet I don't believe in ritualistic behaviors nor much of any of the religions I've encountered for that matter. I was raised Catholic, but I'm non-practicing at best now. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate many of the traditions and what most religions are at their core.

I can "small talk" and "talk sports" with the best of 'em, but if I had my pick I'd choose something a bit more weighty more times than not. I appreciate good music, sincere intentions, and great people among many other things. I have a lot of friends, many of them them life-long, yet I'm always eager to make new ones.

There are few things I find intolerable, but I have less patience for mindless drama, dishonesty, and "me-first" attitudes than I do most things.

CHAPTER FOUR: TWO OF A KIND/ONE OF A KIND

When it comes to romantic relationships I think there are at least two kinds of people...let's just call them independent and non-independent. I've learned from both my own experience and the experience of my compadres that the two types tend to not work so well together. I'm definitely more of the former than the latter. That's not to say I don't hope to find a person that we want to do everything together. But, at the same time I have my own life and at the very least early on in the relationship I'll work best with someone that also does.

I've never had a long-term relationship end so badly that we couldn't remain on good terms, if not good friends, after the fact. That's for a lot of reasons--too many and too complex to explain it to perfection. But, it has a lot to do with making the right choice in the first place. Mix that in with the fact that I don't F people over and that's a good chunk of it.

CHAPTER FIVE: STATS

For my career, I'm a mortgage banker. I also bartend a few nights a week. I have a lot of passion for the restaurant/bar industry and I enjoy it both as a hobby and an additional revenue stream. When I'm not doing those things I'm usually trying to hang out with my favorite people so we can do something fun. In the summer I run and play on a semi-pro baseball team (although this could be the last year of that), and I love going to street festivals, cool al fresco dining/drinking locations and to check out live music. If you're going to catch me groovin', it's more likely to be to reggae these days than anything else, but I have a diverse range of tastes when it comes to music. I also enjoy cooking (especially for others and I'm good at it) and like to dine in when I have co-conspirators. I certainly like to hang on the couch and watch a movie every once and while, but it's not an every day occurrence for me.

As for where I am in life...I'm still building and I'm still figuring "it all" out to a certain extent. 2008 was a tough year in my industry, so to some degree I'm still picking up the pieces from that. And there's a chance I'll be going back to school again next fall, so if you're looking for a "sugar daddy" or if "The Clock" is screaming "now or never!" for you, those things are probably at least a little way off for me. Similarly, if you don't like "football player/teddy bear types" or need your guy to have all of his hair, I'm not going to be for you.

CHAPTER SIX: WHAT'S A BEAUTIFUL GIRL LIKE YOU DOING...SINGLE?

As for how/why I'm still single, I think think it's a combination of a lot of things. I'm particular with my taste...I'm still focused on building myself...and it's just so damn hard to meet high-quality, single women these days. When I'm at the bar (if that even was a good place to meet a potential all-star mate), not only do I find the whole pick-up line/numbers game a drag, I'm focused on spending time with the people I brought with me or met up with. When I'm at work, I'm focused on that (not to mention dating in the workplace is poor form).

So, I've told you my story. Pretty early on, I'm going to expect to hear yours...

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE RIGHT STUFF

I'm long past the days of not caring about the potential future of my romantic relationships. I'm definitely looking for the right woman to co-construct with, but I'm prepared to hold-out for just the right one whenever that may come. I'm never going to be one to settle.
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CHAPTER EIGHT: FIRST DATES AND THE "EASY OUT": BECAUSE MEN IN STILTS SHOULDN'T THROW STONES!

What would I do for a first date? Simple question, right? Well, there's a big difference between an "online originated" 1st date and a "real life" first date. First off, in an "online originated" first date, you've GOTTA have an easy out. In a "real life" first date presumably you've already met the person and so you know there's some attraction there. It doesn't work that way at all with online dating. Even if the person doesn't make material misrepresentations by posting old pictures or showing up in what might as well be stilts, most people can't reliably judge chemistry from a photo (nor over the phone nor through an IM). Those of us that have been on more than one "online originated" date know that mental gulp you take in the split second just before you know you're about to see that person in real life for the first time...is she 30+ lbs heavier than in her pictures? Is he wearing 4 inch heels and still a whole head of hair shy of the 5'10" he so generously scored himself? Maybe they're exactly how they looked in their picture... Sometimes there's still nothing there. The fact of the matter is, you just don't know until you meet face to face.

CHAPTER NINE: PRE-DATES

You really need to consider the "online originated" first date a "pre-date," and both parties need to respect that and plan to keep it short (and without hard feelings if the other party declines a second date). If you can't do that, then online dating probably isn't for you. It's very likely to be more trouble than it's worth at the very least. That's why lunch, a cup of coffee, or literally A BEER at a local pub are probably the right places to start. So that's what I would do for my "first date."

CHAPTER TEN: HOT SEX

An "online originated" SECOND DATE is the one that's like a "real life" first date. Since we ARE online and you haven't yet earned a second date, I'll leave that one to your imagination for now. You can count on it being fun and that's what matters. For our third date, well... we can both look forward to the hot sex, right?

In all seriousness, if the "third date rule" is something you live by or respect in any way, I seriously doubt we're a match. As far as I'm concerned it might be the 4th, 12th, 2nd or 40th. And the not knowing should be reason enough anyway. The good news is if you're still reading this, then you probably aren't a "third date's the charm" kind of gal. I can't date a clone. I need a woman that can think for herself.

FINALLY...THE GOOD NEWS...

Well, the good news is that if you're still reading this, you don't have A.D.D. If you're looking for a great guy that's also a nice guy, yet still an alpha male, you've found one. If you're top-notch across the board: attractive, intelligent, fun, and a team player, then we should talk.