I am looking for some excitement. Someone who wants to regain that tingle that goes down your spine as you anticipate meeting your new squeeze. I want someone I can spoil, some one that can be my best friend and dare partner.

All the crap I stated above really aint true. Below is my philosophy on women and dating. Sorry ahead of time for being long winded.


MYTH: Women want love and affection. Women want to be treated well. If you treat a woman well, she'll treat you well.

TRUTH: Young women want whatever other young women want. They're herd creatures. If you lavish a woman with love and affection she'll think you're doing it because nobody else wants you (which may be true) and she'll dump you. In fact, if you do anything that betrays that you're a loser that other women won't touch, she'll dump you. Why? Because she wants to impress her friends with what a great catch she's made, and if she thinks that they wouldn't want you, then she doesn't want you either.

There are only three exceptions to this rule. The first exception is psychos, otherwise known as "witches, ****es, and crazy ladies." They'll stay with you because nobody else wants them, or because you're the only one who put up with their abuse. The second exception is women who like to "fix men up": those women who like to take "broken" men and turn them into the man they want. These women are single because a mature man will recognize that these women don't want him... they want to turn him into someone else. The third exception is that once in a long time you meet a woman who isn't psycho, still wants to stay with you when she finds out that you're not super stud, and doesn't want to change you into someone else. This is the one you marry.

BITTER MYTH: Women are out for money.

TRUTH: Women are out for status and fun or for security, depending upon their age. A few women are out for cold cash, but not too many. Status-seeking women aren't ready to settle down. They just wanna have fun, and they want their girlfriends to know it. They're looking for a guy they can dangle in front of their friends and say, "Look what I got!" You don't have to have money to be that guy, you just have to come across as desirable. Of course if you have money you don't need to do anything else, but having no money isn't the end of the world. The women who are out for security have had their wild fling and want to settle down. They want a guy who can provide a stable base for the future (and that includes finances).

All in all it's sort of like what guys do (and women whine about endlessly): when you're young you want some bright, bubbly thing with huge tits, a nice ass, and a trimmed bush who screams like a banshee in bed, although you'll settle for much less; when you're ready to get married you want a nice girl who isn't going to break your balls. They're usually different people unless you're very, very lucky. Young women want bad boys who will show them a good time. When they're ready to get married they want some guy who is going to be able to pay to keep them comfortable.

MYTH: Women are out for looks.

TRUTH: See above. Women are out for looks, after a fashion. A guy in good physical shape who wears decent-looking clothes is attractive because he looks after himself and probably isn't a wimp or a whiner. She can convince her friends that he's a "catch." A guy who looks and smells like a laundry bin, or who can't climb a few flights of stairs without a rest had better have some spectacular attribute to show off to her friends (like being a genius) or he's not worth her time. Any guy can compensate for lack of looks or lack of money with showmanship. He doesn't have to be a catch, just seem like one. All he has to do is make her friends think, "Damn, I wish I were going out with him instead of the loser I'm with."

MYTH: I should find one woman I like who likes me, and stick with her through thick and thin.

TRUTH: This is the biggest mistake I ever made. I used to be loyal to whomever I was with, even when someone better came along. All that happened was that I missed out on some great opportunities while I hung on with losers that ended up dumping me anyway. Do this if the two of you are getting married; once you've tied the knot it's a whole other can of worms. However, if you're just dating, do exactly the opposite. In very subtle ways you have to let her know that although you like her, there are lots of other women out there and you still notice them. Glance at tits and legs. Smile at and chat with pretty ladies, even while she's with you (you're just being friendly, of course). This is the most important thing I've learned about dating in a decade. I even thought of dating WASP ****es again, so long as I could keep this in mind. Never, never let her know that she's the only game in town. As soon as she believes that she's your "everything," she'll start whining and ****ing and making demands.

Think of it like buying a car. If you let the salesman know that this is your dream car, that you've stayed awake nights thinking about buying exactly this car, do you think the price will go down? Of course not! He'll jack the price up as high as he thinks he can go and still have you buy it. If you tell your girl that you've dreamed all of your life of going out with someone like her, do you think she'll smile and kiss you and things will go on as before? Of course not! She'll realize that you'll put up with more of her bad habits, and that she can put up with fewer of yours, and the ****ing will start. She'll try to make the relationship as comfortable for her as possible and still keep it going. Remember the car salesman? Remember the attitude that "this is a nice car, but there are hundreds of other great ones, including that one across the street", even as your heart is thumping and you're practically drooling? If you're just dating, this is the attitude to take.

MYTH: Having a girlfriend / fiance/ wife means being able to tell someone my problems.

TRUTH: Nobody gives a sh*tabout your problems. Nobody ever will. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the reality of being a man. Want to tell people about your problems? Get a sex change. Or join a men's group; the flip side is that you have to listen to their problems, but it helps. I know of only two kinds of women who want to hear about your problems: ones with far more problems than you have, and ones who fancy themselves amateur psychiatrists and like "fixing" men. Neither is good company. Let's face it: many women spend all day whining to their friends about how awful their lives are and listening to their neurotic friends responding in kind. The last thing they want to do is go out with you and hear more of the same.

To make matters worse, women simply don't "get" many of men's problems. Women have problems with things that don't even bother us, but they

Whatever comes Natural