I really hate writing about myself, because what I see others might now or vise versa but this is my best. I'm a nice person,I love to laugh seeing a smile on the people I care about is a great feeling.I like to get to know new people and have a great conversation with someone that I can talk with for hours, but at the same time help someone that is shy get out of there shell.I like to joke around alot and can be sarcastic,I always tell things the way I see them and never sugar coat them which can be looked on as being rude/hilarious but life is to short not to laugh as much you can, but I can be serious when I need to be. As for having fun I like to go out to a bar or club once in a blue moon but am not to much of a drinker although whiskey sours and soco and lime are one of my favorites. I also like to watch a good movie when nothing is going on just the same. When it comes to music I am into everything.I'm looking for someone that can keep me stimulated mentally and physically and can make me smile.Being sexy as hell don't hurt either lol but personality is really important to. So yea that is me I could tell you alot more but I would like to have some surprises, if you want to know anything just ask.

This is totally not me but def my humor so if you laugh more than once while reading this we could def get along.
1. Please do not have your own mode of transportation. I expect to pick you up and drive you everywhere, including dates that you can't afford to take me on, work, and to see your kids.

2. Please have at least three addictions! I prefer alcohol, pot and cigarettes. Cocaine habit a plus! Please do not share your substances with me as I prefer to buy my own. In fact, please borrow my money to purchase yours!

3. Please live with your mother. If this is not possible because you don't know who she is, then please live in a big house with five other guys and a six foot graffix bong you call "chewbongka". Please have no furniture except a pool table and a kegerator. Your bed, if you have one, should be a futon mattress on the floor soaked in cat piss, beer, or both.

4. If I get my way, you will not recognize any of the good things I do. Instead, you should gripe about imaginary things that you obsess about because of your mental disorders.

5. Do not be accountable at all for your actions. Please realize that if your life sucks, it's clearly my fault and I should be a better girlfriend. I would appreciate it if you understood that it's because of my lack of consideration that you are too hungover to work. It is also because of me that you end up in jail, lose your job, or don't have any clean clothes.

6. Please have poor credit. It's part of my dream that I have to add you to my cell phone account and bank account because you are unable to obtain these things under the name you are currently using. You must be at least $20,000 in debt. That debt will not include a home or a car because you wouldn't have either of those. If you do, you are automatically disqualified.

7. Always remember: EVERYTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME! In fact, so is beer, football, and so are other women you don't know. I should come about 8th on the list of important things in your life: behind blow jobs but ahead of your family.

8. You must owe back child support that I will help you pay.

9. Please yell at me LOUDLY and OUTSIDE my front door so that I will be evicted.

10. Whatever you do, don't cut your hair, shave, wear deodorant or brush your teeth. Also, wear shitty clothes when we go out... the last thing I need is to feel "proud" to be seen with you. Please spit in public and scratch your balls whenever you can. I would also appreciate it if your pants were so low that everyone could see your underwear and/or ass-crack. Nothing says "hot" like pants that don't fit. Sleeveless shirts a plus.

11. When we make out, say things to me like "grab it" and "suck me off". I also LOVE to have a man put his hands on my head and push it into his crotch. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances try to give me an orgasm. This will only lead to pleasure, which I am not accustomed to.

lol ;)

Some things that I think would be fun on a first date are ice skating, bowling, minature golfing or maybe a trip to the bar and of course dinner at a nice restraunt. Who really cares what you do it matters who your with that makes it a fun time.