DISCLAIMER- I have been on here a couple of months and I am convinced that the majority of girls on this site are completely nutters. Hopefully you are not one of them. If you are interested in chatting, I can receive instant messages at jmb4usa on yahoo messenger. Another thing that I don't understand about this site is when a girl looks at your profile all the time, but then you try to send her a message and it says it is blocked because you are not the kind of guy she is interested in. Strange.......

I am looking for a good girl with potential to one day meet my mom. I like working out, golf, tennis, biking, roller blading, surfing and I read and write constantly. I am a huge sports fan- baseball, football, basketball, hockey- you name it I will watch it or play it.

I am not looking for a cheap hook up, so if you are interested in just partying or having "fun"- please don't message me.

The thing I have dreamed about since I was a little boy is to find the other half of my soul, a woman to complete me. I don't want what most couples have, I am looking for something transcendent- a true experience of the soul. Sure I want to do fun things and have adventures, but most of all I want to find someone in whose eyes I can truly lose myself and find the divine. If you don't really get what I am talking about, then we are probably not that compatable. If you do, shoot me a message.

THE SEARCH (A Piece I Wrote)
There was coldness in his bones and weariness in his heart that made each successive step forward a triumph of will over the constraints of his body. In the desolate landscape on which he trudged lied the tattered remains of the warriors who had crossed this path over the ages searching for the one thing in all creation which held the promise and realization of eternal life and union with the divine.

There was no pride each time he progressed further than those poor empty shells that littered the terrain around him. He knew that regardless of how far along the path toward his destination he got, his will and patience could at any time fail him. If he fell now, he would become a permanent marker to future seekers who would look down upon the remnants of his earthly self only to mark their advance toward the goal which he had failed to reach.

The wind pricked his face with tiny pins that seemed not to be impeded by the barrier of his skin. In the blue-white sky, the sun was blinding and he thought it was strange that a star so bright could not be emitting any noticeable heat. It was if the elements of existence were bent on denying him the only real goal he had ever had in life. They were conspiring against him and it felt to him that each advance was met with a concurrent adjustment that moved the gift he sought just that much more out of reach.

Still, he kept moving and concentrated on the feeling deep inside his chest which validated his quest. He knew the jewel was out there, somewhere beyond the current horizon waiting for his arrival. There was a "calling", that is all he could think to label it- a calling to his soul that caressed his heart and said "please my love, don't give up, don't stop, believe in me, I am here waiting to be found." That plea was the only thing that kept the warrior moving, but it was constantly doing battle with a body that wanted to fall and sleep. There was another part of his mind that said don't believe what you feel, it is not real, it does not exist, it is a figment of your imagination and you will die without ever touching the mirage you have created.

Slowly, dead or dormant oak and maple trees from some ancient forgotten forest began to dot the snow-covered path upon which he strode. The bodies of past warriors frozen and in various states of decay were all around him under the leafless canopy of gray branches. Had all these thousands of warriors had the same feelings he had, had they all been searching for the same treasure only to fall when their body or will failed to hold onto the dream, the hope that had sustained them this far? How could God not reward all these tortured souls who had striven so hard and come so far in search of the one thing in life that really matters. The warrior had a thought which seemed a revelation. Just because these shattered men around him had failed, it didn't necessarily mean that some men, perhaps even a greater number had not reached their goal and met their divine destiny.

Perhaps those who had fallen had lost faith and consequently the will to move toward something that one could not see but could only sense in the mind, the spirit and ultimately the heart. The warrior quickened his pace and the forest grew more dense with wood as the sky began to fade into various orange and blue tints while the sun which had glowed a pale white earlier was now evolving into an ever more reddish orange. Soon it would be night and the temperature would drop precipitously in a matter of minutes. The warrior knew that if he didn't find his heart's desire soon, the night would claim his body and darkness might claim his soul.

The forest was now dense, save for the narrow curving snow covered path before him. Every so often he would have to step over the body of an armor clad ancient warrior. However, he was heartened by the fact the bodies of the fallen were now much fewer and intermittent than they had been earlier in his journey. It was as if the purveyors of fate had employed a funnel of survival along this path which claimed most at the beginning, some in the middle, and relatively few at the end. This thought made the warrior wonder how some could have come this far only to give up or be deemed unworthy by the fickle hands of fate. It seemed so cruel and unlike the divine to let some get so close only to deny them. Of course, maybe he wasn't as close as he thought. Maybe that was the cruel and evil trick that his psyche had played on him and his predecessors. The only way to know for sure was to keep going.

Blackness pierced by an infinite number of stars soon replaced the darkish blue tint that had heralded the sun's demise. The chill in the air grew painfully cold, but for a brief period the falling temperature invigorated the warrior. It was almost as if the coldness he felt hinted at a warmth that would soon follow, a warmth that he had never truly known, a warmth that had haunted his dreams and dominated his prayers as long as he could remember. He knew tonight would be the night, he knew that he would not die alone, but would find what he had been searching for his entire life.

In the star light, the warrior saw a clearing ahead of him where the narrow path opened to a circular field surrounded by dense trees. The path ended in the opening and from what the warrior could see in the starlight perhaps a hundred yards the circle ahead of him did not give way to a furthe

(continued) that had been a waste of a life spent in pursuit of a foolish dream. He felt like a fool and envied those careful souls who had laughed at his quest and told him he was crazy to pursue such a dream. “Be happy with what you can realistically obtain” they had told him while laughing at his folly. He had thought them shallow fools who had settled for fools gold rather than taking the risk involved in finding the real thing. But they had been right.

Somewhere in the distance he heard the sound of an owl. The warrior got up off his knees and trudged forward moving to the center of the circular field. Curiously, he saw no bodies of fallen warriors who had gotten this far and died in shame as he would. Perhaps the snow had covered their bodies or the light was too dim to see them. Surely there couldn’t have been many who had made it this far. The warrior took a deep breath and felt the beating of his heart inside his chest. He would die tonight, slowly going to sleep in the middle of this Godforsaken wasteland. As the night progress the warrior knew that he would get colder and colder until the freezing temperatures ceased to hurt. In fact, at some point he would be alive but would feel very little. In a sense, it was kind of like the feeling his soul was experiencing at the moment. It was alive, but empty and hopeless.

As the warrior approached the center of the giant circular field he saw a platform of stone that was elevated and round, about twenty feet in circumference and about a two foot step up from the snow covered ground. The stone looked dark and was strangely devoid of any snow. In fact, the stone had a polished wet look that was so clear that the warrior could see stars reflected on its surface. He was puzzled about the presence of such an “altar” here and wondered if perhaps it had been used for sacrifices at some point in history. As he walked forward, the warrior noticed indentations in the polished stone on which he was walking and bent down to see what they were.

Upon his knees, with his head a foot away from the stone the warrior came to the realization that the indentations were indeed gold filled text. The first sentence gave the warrior goose bumps and he felt warm all over, even breaking out into a cold sweat. He traced the words with his index finger “amor est aeterna” - Latin for “love is eternal”. The following sentences seemed jump out of the rock all were in Latin “The soul who searches for true love must first find that love in himself before it can be manifested into a reality beyond himself.”

The warrior closed his eyes and let the all his thoughts fade away. He let his mind reach out into the universe to seek the treasure that would illuminate his entire being. He knew now that the journey he had been on had not merely been a physical one, but more importantly had occurred on the level of the mind and the spirit. He kept his eyes closed and sent out a