I am a jerk.

I will break your heart.

I will never call you when I say I will.

I will promise to be there on time and show up an hour late.

I will borrow thousands of dollars from you and never pay you back.

I will joyride your car with my buddies while you're passed out drunk.

I will total your new convertible VW and convince you that you did it.

I will cheat on you with girls who are much uglier than you.

I will run over your dog and say it was an accident.

Same goes for your cat.

Your dad will try to kick my ass.

Your brother will cut the brake lines on my car.

Your mom will invite me to dinner just to try and poison me.

Your entire family will disown you when they find out that you continue to date me.

Despite all this, you will be hopelessly attracted to me.

I have charisma.

I have charm.

Your grandma will think I'm "such a delightful young man".

I will sweep you off your feet and drop you on your head.

By this time next month I will be dumping you for your little sister.

And there won't be anything you can do to stop her.

She already fell in love with me after hearing all of the "horror" stories that you told her about me.

You have no choice.

You are powerless to my advances.

Do what you do best.

Submit yourself to me.

A REAL MAN.

Date? What date? Nobody actually ever meets in person on this site. But, if they did, I'm thinking Tico's tacos off Wilshire and then go feed the ducks.