I would like to think that I am not a very complicated person but after reflecting on what to write here I have discovered that I am a train wreck. Damn these profiles! Instead of writing a cliche profile about the everyday, dull occurrences in my life, I decided to just give you a bunch of random facts about me:


-I have knocked out a boxer, aced a tennis player and scored a basket in basketball but have never hit a home run in baseball during a game (bar league softball does not count) but I was hit twice in the thigh in the same game. I think that is personally more impressive because what are the odds of that? It did land me in the sports section of the paper.
-Reading the Snapple fact of the day from the cap of a bottle of Snapple makes me happy.
-I can nail just about any movie quote. Proving once and for all that I know everything about nothing.
-One time I tried out for Jeopardy and doing so actually proved that I don’t know everything about nothing so ignore that last statement.
-There is nothing better when your girlfriend leaves your apartment but it still smells like her (note: I am talking about general odor not well…um you know)
-In fifth grade, I was asked to spell the word "diagonal" in the school spelling bee...I spelled it "dygonal".
-I think I am a solid drummer...or at least I like to think that I am.
-I missed my first class my freshman year of college.
-I think “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” was horrible. Seriously it was not funny. Furthermore, “Lost in Translation” was grossly overrated. There I said it. I did not like Lost in Translation all that much. I would also like to point out that the works of Dan Brown are vastly overvalued.
-Parents and animals love me it’s their daughters/owners that are the issue
-I think MTV is really the downfall of American youth culture, bad music has been pushed on people to a level that is unheard of even surpassing the disco era …… but I can’t stop watching “The Hills”. (Kidding I don’t watch The Hills… no really.)
-Question: why do people write checks in the fast lane at the supermarket? I hate that.
-I hate the smell of theme park water
-I have an irrational hatred of Paris Hilton, JJ Reddick, and Wilmer Valderrama

Actually in all seriousness I am a driven guy with lots of good things going on in his life. I have been told over and over that I am a “keeper” but I haven’t found someone that I have felt worth sharing my life with. While I am funny and kind of a smart ass I still have goals, which I have worked really hard to achieve and will continue to do so. I hope to find someone that I have chemistry with and that wants to share in my life or that wants to dress me up as a cop and have me “arrest her”. (Either one works for me.)

If any of this interests you or want to learn more, drop me a message. (I can’t believe you actually read that entire thing.)

First, I would tell you to put on something playful and sexy, then I would show up late to your house because I was out doing something more fun than trying to impress silly girls I meet online. After making you wonder if I'm going to show up at all, I would finally arrive, to your dismay, with two other beautiful girls in tow. But I would soon ditch them to hang out with you - IF you are good!
I would take you rollerskating like we were 16. We would eat ice cream and make fun of people who aren't as cool as us. I would tell you that you are cute in your little outfit, but I'm not sure I like the way you stalked me on PoF. Then we would play-wrestle in the sand at the beach. At the point where you couldn't keep your hands off of me anymore, I would build a little bonfire that we would watch as we finish a bottle of red wine and tell each other about the craziest things we've done in life. You would keep trying to get in my pants, and I would keep pushing you off - saying things like "oh I like you baby, but I think we should take it slow: clearly an agenda to build up your sexual frustration until I have you eating out of the palm of my hand, which is what I would have you do next - eat strawberries that I feed you in an overly silly and seductive way, pulling them away right as you go to take a bite. But eventually you might convince me to let you have some.