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Saw this cute little 'fish' graphic on the website somewhere. This being a dating site, the first caption that came to mind was:

"Say, you wanna get out of here and head over to that reef across town? I hear they have a great Ahi. Oops, sorry. I should have asked: are any of your relatives 'Ahi'?"

Cheesy, I know. But who doesnt like a little cheese with their humor? [sound of crickets chirping] -grin-

But wait, if you think THAT's bad...this was actually on a woman's profile that I stumbled upon the other night:

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One looks at the other and says.........(wait for it)

"Does this taste funny to you?"

Ok, so I was laughing at that one, too ;)

Hi there, I'm Michael :)

Thanks for taking the time to get to know me. On to the SERIOUS business at hand -grin-. I'm a divorcé of 19 years, and a single parent to a 23 year old daughter who is currently attending grad school, out of state. She has unquestionably been the biggest blessing in my life. I wouldnt trade being 'a Dad' for anything :)

I'm told that I'm very open and easy to talk with....which is good because, in a romantic relationship, I'm not often content to leave things unsaid -grin-. The feeling that there are unresolved issues in a romantic relationship is, for me, the worst....! Good, even 'great' communication, in my opinion, is the (insert overused construction metaphor!) cornerstone upon which a healthy, harmonious, drama-free relationship is built :) I have an adventurous, intellectually curious spirit. And I would rather play than watch most sports. But dont worry: if you're a spectator sports nut, on Sunday afternoons I'll just be out back refinishing the deck or some such. Please let me know when the commercials are on, however, so that I can come inside for a moment, lock onto your lips, and have my way with you for three minutes! I try always to be honest in my daily life, and am apparently the eternal optimist when it comes to finding the woman who I'll spend the rest of my life with. For instance, I'm dipping my toes back into the dating pool again....so I'm either crazy, or a hopeless romantic :)

As far as personal interaction, I enjoy talking with people and often love nothing more than thoughtful conversation...interrupted by moments of uncontrollable (and occasionally inappropriate) laughter! Strangely enough, and though some might characterize me as "a man's man", most of my good friends have been women! I guess I feel that I've kinda got the 'guy-thing' down, and usually find women more interesting to talk with.

My own bias in a romantic relationship is, I know, towards a woman who enjoys being 'a woman'. And who is secure enough in herself to appreciate a man being the 'man' :) I view successful, healthy romantic relationships as 'partnerships'. Each of us bringing attributes and abilities to the relationship, and where the sum of the whole is greater than our individual 'parts'. We should be better together than either of us could be, separately :)

I also place high value in 'The Golden Rule', and treating others as I would like to be treated. If you're kind to our wait-staff, to children, animals, and old people.....well, we'll probably get along :) A bit more about me? As far as 'physical types', I'm most usually attracted to somewhat curvy, voluptuous women. I guess I should also say that, although I have a very healthy libido, I'm not into casual sex (no, this wasnt the part where you were supposed to laugh!). What can I say except that settling for 'sex without love', or feelings for someone who you can envision a future with, just isnt what I'm looking for. Once we're there, however, I tend to be a bit of a take-charge kinda guy in the bedroom, and a bit adventurous from time to time ;) Think "Pirate Night" Tuesdays, and "I'll bet we'll have the 9th Hole all to ourselves at Midnight" Saturdays -grin-. So whether it's "Lash the damsel to the bedposts....Arrgh, matey!", or "I'll never think of this golf course the same way again...!", or something else goofy that we make entirely our own, a little romantic escapade from time to time is always fun :)

Professionally, I'm a former corporate-geek, General Contractor, Policeman and Soldier, currently working for a large company, utilizing my background in construction, training and management to help improve sales. I feel however that, professionally, there is still another adventure (or two) out there waiting for me :)

So if you're a kind, thoughtful woman who enjoys laughter, a bit of good-natured sarcasm tempered with an appreciation for some words just being funny (!), who also looks forward to exploring new places together as well as the ones we've always loved, then by all means contact me!

Thanks for reading my profile....best of luck to you in your search!

Dinner or lunch in a nice, cozy restaurant would be one possibility. Someplace where we'll both feel comfortable, and where we can hear the conversation.

Or perhaps.....

Meet at a strip of antique stores, or shops. Let's see what kind of oddball stuff they have in there! Points awarded for coming up with the most non-sensical description of what that particular contraption or gizmo was used for :)

Whatever we do on our first date, I'll be aiming for relaxed conversation as we begin to know each other in person :) And if we find some of that elusive 'chemistry', hopefully our occasional bursts of laughter wont disturb the other couples out on THEIR first dates...!