***HAPPY NEW YEAR***

I refuse to insult your intelligence.

I will not tell you that I like laughing and traveling. Everyone likes those things. If you don't, there is something seriously wrong with you.

I won't put the line in here "write me if you have any questions," because you will if you do.

I'm not going to say that I'm "nice" and "romantic." Those things are cliché in a plenty of fish profile. As is "my friends and family say I'm (bunch of good attributes)." If they have bad things to say, they're not my friends. If my family had bad things to say, it goes without mentioning that I wouldn't put their comments in my profile...

I left off the pictures of myself holding dead animals, holding fish I caught, holding a drink at a club or bar, or standing in front of a bathroom mirror using my cell phone camera, shirtlessly flexing my "I think I'm cut" upper body that really isn't cut enough to impress the female populace into dropping trou on the mere site of my bare chest... Hope you don't mind.

my profile contains no txt tlk and has perfect grammar and punctuation leaves off the use of the ambiguous lol and omg and correctly capitalizes letters and has perfect speling b/c i want to show you im intellegent.

Sorry, forgot to show pictures of me standing in front of my kick ass car or motorcycle, or put pictures of my kick ass car or motorcycle there all by itself. I should have, because I know you ladies are so very impressed with my loud, uncomfortable race car or motorcycle that I (and by I, I mean everyone on this green Earth) think is the best damn car or motorcycle in the world that you ladies would drop panties to get in and sit next to me or behind me.

Also, I forgot to discuss the beers I shotgunned with my friends last weekend. For the record, it was twelve. I hope you're impressed with that.

I'm super rich, outrageously funny, very generous, graceful and classy. Basically, I'm every single woman's dream, and any of you would be lucky to be graced with my presence, but I forgot to mention that.

I left off the pictures of me with my arm around my friend who's wearing a shirt that says "Drink Till She's Hot" on it.

I don't have pictures of me holding a gun. If I did, I'd surely put them on here to impress you and show you that I can handle firepower and I'm not compensating for anything.

Oops, left out the pictures of me with a hot girl, arm in arm, insisting that she's not an ex or current girlfriend. I know you ladies would like to see me with someone pretty, but I left that out. Hope that doesn't turn you off.

I won't mention that I'm so chivalrous it will make your mom blush.

All sarcasm above aside, I'm an optimistic, active, laid back, motivated, open minded, funny, kind and people/animal loving person! I like meeting new people and striking up conversations with anyone and everyone. I know what I want in a relationship and expect the same from you. Colors (hair, skin), ethnicities, and backgrounds do not factor into dating decisions for me, I just like women. There's lots more but we might as well chat for a bit and see where it goes. Oh, and I like to do active things/play sports, so please be able to keep up. I'd prefer if you have a worldly view of things, I was shattered when I learned MN is not the center of the universe, but I got over it .

Thanks for checking this out and good luck!

Take you to Paris on a private jet for French food.
Come over to my house and "cuddle." Seriously. Yes, I've seen guys on this very website put that in this section, so why not me (j/k)?
Drink tequila till we turn red, including every extremity (I'm talking pinkie finger tips here, ladies) then I drive you home.
Throw water balloons at cars and smile at drivers who yell at us or flick us off.
Attend a comedy show and try to "steal the show," preferably from an "insult" comic. See how that goes...

Pick one. Can't do Paris right now, so if you picked that one, check in later.

Or, if you just want to meet in a public place during daylight hours in/near your comfort zone, that's cool, too.