I speak 394 languages, have traveled to 7 planets, and stood on top of the sun ... blindfolded, etc.

Seriously though, I'm a jerk and I drink too much. I like to have laughs at other peoples' expense, quite possibly and probably at yours, should you for some reason decide to meet me. I'm swearing off nice girls. Run while you still can. You've been warned.

With that being said, you should know that I'm not looking for a fast random hookup. Getting sex is easy. What I'd really like to find is more than a pretty face that I can actually connect with on a deeper level. Rare, I know, but for my myriad of shortcomings, I am what some would call "delusionally optimistic."

Are you game to try?

Don't ask me "what do you do for fun?" or you're going to turn off my *Interested* button really quickly.

You're not going to get to know me by reading this.