For a really detailed description, please be redirected to www.my space.com/bitofcrumpet (obviously closing the gap) where many happy hours (or minutes, depending on your attention span) of profile perusal await you. Here you will find out all about my favourite things and get a feel for my personality, plus there are many photos and some entertaining blogs.

But as I created that page to keep in touch with friends and not to find dates, here are a few things that My Space won't tell you.

I have no set criteria in what I am looking for in a partner, nor am I gender discriminate. I believe that when I find the one I'm destined to be with, everything will fall into place and I'll KNOW, ya know?

I'm looking for long term companionship so if you're looking for casual flings, threesomes etc I'm not the girl for you. I am nobody's benefit.

I'm a giver and a nurturer, but I'm not looking for freeloaders and users.

I'm honest (aren't we all), but sometimes will hide my feelings to spare yours.

Two words that do NOT accurately describe me are "sexy" and "hot". I know this, I'm not stupid so if you try to tell me I am, I'll know you are just trying to tell me what you think I want to hear. However I am extremely soft and cuddly, a devoted, tactile and attentive partner and although I don't fall for people easily, if I love you, you WILL know it every single day. I'm a hopeless romantic and a believer in the little things.

I like kids, I just don't feel the need to be adding to an over populated planet with a clutch of my own spawn, plus I kinda like my house, sleep patterns and future world exploration plans the way they are.

I'm easy to please but hard to impress. I will be paying more attention to the way you treat the people around you (whether you know them or not), animals and the planet than to how much cash you flash or how much time you've spent beefing up at the gym. Although I love the likes of Olive Garden and Longhorn, standing outside for two hours on a freezing Valentine's Day waiting for a table with forty seven other shivering couples doesn't show me you've used your imagination.

There are five felines at my house, four of them mine, so if you don't like or are allergic to cats, this is probably not going to work out so well for you. Please don't let them put you off though, I take good care of them and I take good care of my house.

I am from England. So yes I have the accent. Don't assume though, that if you quote some obscure Monty Python line, I'm going to automatically know what you are talking about. Don't judge me by a dead parrot.

I'm a lot less irritated by people who know the difference between "your" and "you're" and that there is no A in "definitely".

I take chocolate very seriously.

I rarely waste an opportunity to use the phrase "your mom".

I have never called anyone a Jive Turkey, but I kind of want to, just to see what happens.

All my cars have had names.

I have a bit of a thing for cowboy hats.... So if you look good in one.... uhhh...

I have a treadmill and she and I often regard each other warily from opposite sides of the garage. We dance occasionally and really should more often as I have the metabolism of a hibernating grizzly bear. So if you want me to go to the gym with you and wotnot, you'll probably be good for me. Be my motivation!

Although TV doesn't often hold my interest, (I'm more of an outdoor girl) I will happily watch Ghost Hunters for hours in the dark by myself. And I say by myself because my roomies are too freaked out by that show to watch it with me. I don't scare easily. I'm the one they come to to safely escort large spiders back outside. I'm a bit of a tree hugger.

I recycle, give good massages, love pitbulls, thunderstorms and ceilidhs, provide my own sound effects while driving, I am my own air band and I find it absolutely hilarious that they put peanut allergy warnings on jars of peanut butter.

A couple of my friends have complimented my eyes and the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me is "If I had a woman like that, I'd fight anyone for her." Aside from my concerns over the prospect of physical violence, I was extremely touched by that.

So if you have an open heart and mind, like to find the fun in the mundane and can spell, don't be shy, stop on by and say hi.

More to come as I think of it, have a fantastic day and thanks for visiting!

I don't really care, just don't try to force feed me a tongue sandwich. There's a time and a place for that. First date ain't it son.