I want a tattoo purely for cosmetic reasons, but don't have one yet because I need some deep, meaningful story attached to it just in case anyone asks.
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Metrosexuals are deteriorating what little remains of the once-enigmatic feminine mystique.
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John Donne: "No man is an island."
Me: "Screw you, I'm Fiji."
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Overdosing on cologne helps prevent cougar attacks.
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I have an irrational (yet hilarious) fear of porous objects. Think sponges. I once saw a sea anemone and nearly threw up in my snorkel. Way hot.
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The following paragraph depicts the most unique, antithetical individual on 'plentyoffish'. Enjoy!
"I [hate to laugh/have a good time, love the club scene, know exactly what I'm looking for on here, enjoy artificiality, can't stand family/friends, binge-drink at bars, don't watch movies, detest all music except for country and rap, suffer from crippling insecurity, lack ambition, love shirtless douches, and] am exactly like everyone else out there."
Seem familiar?
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Standard stuff--
Chatty when chatty. Tend to ignore silly social scruples. Huge fan of witty banter, so if you're funny, we can be BFFs. For seriously. I like folks who:
- are kinda nuts/eccentric
- can’t shut up when excited

Send a note if you're funny, awesome, or some ridiculous combination of the two.

We’d do “Medieval Times” for dinner (stolen leftovers from nearby tables) and eat with fingers (even soup) to stay true to the theme. Communication? Monosyllabic grunts will indicate attraction; this signals that a deep and meaningful courtship has begun.

Masterful tequila double-fisting will render me useless at the wheel, so as the moonlit evening draws to a stellar close, you'll cradle my head while I decorate an alleyway with my half-digested dinner.

Basically, it’d be magic.