I love movies and the arts, discussions of significance and a significant amount of amusing nonsense. I love hearing people laugh, although I am not easily moved to laughter. The climax of Little Miss Sunshine reduced me to tears.

I cry in color cartoons and newsreels. I am a sucker for chick flicks because I used to watch them with my mom when I was a kid. I like musicals, and admire great costumes. No, I am not gay.

I'm not that into women with lots of facial hair and mustaches. Body art is okay, as long as it doesn't include Nazi symbols, racial epithets, or that face of Jesus where his eyes follow you around the room as if he were a cross between Charles Manson and****Cheney.

I'm a good cook and know the ultimate secret ingredient of great recipes: one can of cream of chicken soup or one can of cream of mushroom soup! Learned that from Mom. Mom and I were very close ...not Norman Bates close, but she did have some mighty fine cutlery.

I don't go to drunken brawls because I dont get drunk and don't brawl but if you like that, that's fine with me. I will stay home and wait for your call from jail. I have mythephobia (fear of drunks), so we won't be doing a pub crawl unless it is me crawling away from the pub.

I am weaning myself off cigarettes by shooting nicotine directly into my veins with a turkey baster (just checking to see if you're still reading)

Hey what's the deal with POF asking if we do drugs? Do they mean legal Rx medications such as beta blockers, erectile dysfunction meds, and over the counter gas relief gels, or are they referring to substances that could get us locked up? Anyone using illegal drugs who answers YES to that question needs to do MORE drugs so they get paranoid enough to wisely answer NO.

As for body types and that sexual attraction stuff, I am a bit intimidated by ENORMOUS breasts because I don't quite know what to do with them. If i look at them, I'm being naughty, and if I don't look at them, the woman who has them notices me not looking and says "oh yeah, you said you liked costumes and musicals and the arts and dance and you DO walk a bit funny" Listen, a back injury is not a character defect, and appreciation of beauty does not mean an aversion to women and an attraction to movies such as "The Son of Hercules in the Valley of Fire"

As a hard working and industrious man, I'm too lazy and self-absorbed to micro manage anyone's life -- yours or mine. Oh, possessiveness and jealousy are signs of mental illness. So is worrying about lizards from outer space raising you as if you were a cow and then shipping you off to another dimension to eat you. If that IS your big concern, consult your therapist.

There is only room for one mental case in a two person relationship, and I'm damaged enough for both of us. But I am HARMLESS!!

I love active, healthy and athletic women who are mature and wise enough to understand that one health nut in the family is more than enough.
If you don't understand, read it again. If you want a tennis partner, golf partner or water ski partner == IT AIN'T ME, BABE. You are more than welcome to have those interests and, if it pleases you, have a torrid affair with your personal trainer. Just as long as you shower before you come home. You love to hike? Fine, go for a hike. I'll be here when you get back.

You love to travel? Fantastic! In that case you must have tons of frequent flyer miles you can cash in for us both to use.

You like to "explore places." To me, exploring places means digging under the couch cushions for the remote control to the TV.

You wanna be a vegan? That's your problem. All vegans die of natural causes. I'm thinking of launching a telethon to fight natural causes, the number one killer of anemic women who belong to co-ops. (Their last wish, or course, is to pass away while listening to NPR). As for country music, i think it's wonderful that people living in their vehicles and sleeping with their first cousins have a shared cultural experience. You won't find me sleeping in my vehicle because I no longer own one.

REPEAT: I DO NOT HAVE A CAR. I AM NOT CURRENTLY DRIVING (have license however). The reason is because about a year ago I had a detached retina. The eye looks okay, but it doesn't work as well as it used to. As my depth perception isn't as accurate as it once was, I fear I may run over some hapless soul. Just because I lack depth perception doesn't mean I'm shallow, or don't know shallow when I encounter it, or desire a two dimensional relationship.

I have a Jewish heritage, and have even taught Torah study classes in a Temple or two. World religions are my "hobby" so to speak --Baha'i by affiliation-- so I can also discuss the Qu'ran, Kitab-i-Iqan, etc.

My primary personaltiy characteristic is "Charming." When I was a teenager, my mom said "don't pick your face." My reply: "Mom, if I could pick my face, I would look like Cary Grant."

Perfect First Date: We meet at 4am in the alley behind the service station at 6th and Almeda downtown. You come alone. I'm the guy in the ski mask.

Shhhhhh...calm down, calm down!!! I don't even own a ski mask.

Whatever we do, or wherever we go. I want to hear you talk. I want to listen to you.
Any store can sell you a Talking Barbie, but you can't even special order Listening Ken.

I enjoy walking and sight seeing, especially wandering the aisles of the supermarket, Bed, Bath and Beyond, and anyplace that has small kitchen appliances!! I don't want a long walk on the beach. Not only do i get sand in my shoes, but trudging through sand makes any destination seem twice as far and three times as inconvenient. If it is that far to walk, we can call a taxi.

Oh, please don't tell me "My friends tell me I'm cute." No they don't. Real friends don't say that, they say "Hey, lose twenty pounds, shave your back, brush your teeth, and get sensible shoes."

Perhaps due to genetic memory, I find fascists terribly disquieting. Some people think our Bill of Rights is archaic. I think we need it. We can't have archaic and need it too.
Oh..and I must be a good kisser because I practice a lot when I'm alone.

TO MESSAGE ADORABURL:

MUST NOT be a hypercritical kvetch
MUST NOT go through my pockets and wallet looking for things to be suspicious of.
MUST NOT think Jesus will kill all the Jews when he flies out of the sky.
MUST NOT channel Ramtha the Warrior Princess,pay money to anyone who does, or think Divine Guidance is found in multi-level marketing.
MUST NOT be married unless your husband wants to pay me to date you.
MUST NOT burn crosses on people's lawns, or admire those who do.
MUST NOT send chain letters
MUST NOT: do drugs unless they are so good that I would completely understand why you do them, and you are willing to share.
MUST NOT be a Nigerian Scam Artist
MUST NOT have a list of MUST NOTS on your profile.