A funny thing happened to me at the grocery store - someone stopped me in the frozen foods section and asked me if they could have a few moments of my time. I said sure, what for? She told me she worked for a very mysterious individual who is collecting all willing and able men to compete in a prestigious competition and I can only answer with a yes or no, and no questions can be asked. I said yes. In that instant I felt a blast of hot air encapsulate my body and I was whisked away to a tropical paradise... pain and anguish took over as I struggled to understand what was happening and where exactly I was. A cloaked figure appeared in front of me and told me I was on an unnamed island off the coast of Australia and I was directed to follow him. We eventually stopped in front of a hut. "Go in and rest, for tomorrow you will take part in a grueling competition..."

A fanfare of trumpets awoke me from my slumber and I saw thousands of men trudging across the beach towards a podium... and after seeing a man get whipped for straggling behind, I quickly joined the masses. A man was standing on the stage at the podium and, as he raised his eyes to the sky, he said "WELCOME BROTHERS TO MY COMPETITION!!!" The man told us his name, Leto, and informed us we would be in a bloody free-for-all to decide who would take the title of Best Man. All of a sudden, weapons rained from the sky and we all grabbed whatever we could find... my hands found their way to a medieval mace. Trumpets blared, and the free-for-all began!

In an instant, I felt a sword penetrate my chest. When I came to, I was back in the frozen foods section.

Moral of the story: I'm not the best man. But I am ridiculously awesome and hilarious. Yeah!

I guess I should probably elaborate a bit more in regards to, well, me...

I am:
- a canadian born lebanese dude
- odd
- eccentric
- awesome
- hilarious
- highly sarcastic
- completely random
- kinda shy but not really maybe... I'm one of those "I checked out your profile, I liked it, but too shy to make a move" kinda guys. Although I'm mainly discouraged due to the lack of progress on this site, not due to my shyness...
- a sports lover
- a musician at heart
- a huge trivia buff
- a lovable nerd
- a hater of clubs and reality shows. argh.
- a lover of all things ancient
- always thinking, always daydreaming
- unlucky
- highly absent-minded
- intelligent and educated
- (unfortunately) resorting to stupid sites like this to find my better half

What I'm doing with my life:
I've already graduated. Me has edumacayshon.

I was working, but my contract expired and the recession has dried out the market. So I figured "meh, might as well take my Chem Eng. diploma and go to university and become a full-fledged engineer of doom." So I'm currently in the process of applying to McMaster for Chemical Engineering... hopefully only 2 agonizing years!

Eventually I would love to achieve world domination, but that's a top secret work-in-progress... shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm really good at:
Trivia, useless knowledge-type sh!t, like Jeopardy. Rock Band.

Bullsh!t. I'm awesome at bullsh!t, I can make people believe virtually anything... oh and sarcasm... I'm awesomely sarcastic hahaha.

I also invent my own words on a daily basis.

But in general, I'm really good at just being plain old flucking awesome and hilarious.

On a typical Friday night I am:
Either dead tired and asleep, or dead tired chilling at home, or dead tired and out with my friends enjoying the night in our own nonsensical way.

You should message me if:
Hmm....
You're not stuck-up and full of yourself.
You're looking for a relationship.
You're looking to laugh.
You're looking to kill some time.
You're single.
You live in/around Hamilton... for arguments sake, let's say like Oakville or Mississauga.
You have a decent grasp on grammar and can spell.
You're looking for a much-needed change of pace.

The Safety Dance. There is no other choice in this matter.