THE FOLLOWING IS NOT A PAID ADVERTISEMENT. IT CONTAINS ODD THOUGHTS AND STRANGE LANGUAGE, WHICH MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR SOME LADIES. IF YOU EXPERIENCE HEADACHES, DIZZINESS, SEIZURES, OR NAUSEA PERHAPS YOU SHOULD PUT DOWN THE WINE GLASS.

Comedy is very important to me: a sense of humor, awareness of the absurd, and an eye for irony is essential.
I like to smile and laugh. OFTEN.
I enjoy creating things, whether it be conceptual ideas, words on paper, colors on surfaces, or gluing objects together that i found on a walk.
I am inspired by nature, animals (dogs rule), climbing trees, splashing in rain puddles, swimming in creeks, sleeping under pine forests, reading books (fantasy and horror preferred) and especially enjoy reading comic books (still, forever, and always.) I am a well-organized pack-rat (altho it may look like chaotic disarray). I love animals, and was raised by a Golden Retriever. Seriously. When I was a baby she would walk beside my stroller. When my grandparents first came to see me she did not let them near me, growling her potection. She taught me how to play with play dough, adn even let me get it in her hair. Just like my dog in college, who also let me get play dough in her hair, but by then we called it Fimo Clay or Sculpey. Same thing. Big fan of playing with clay. And Dogs. But I keep them seperate these days. Less mess.

I am looking for a woman with self-awareness and emotional fearlessness. If you have unresolved issues (aka baggage) from previous relationships, deal with them on your own and leave me out of it. Same goes if you have any complications with the exes in your life, I am not interested. We are all adults, we have all been hurt before; Deal, Cope, Move On. I for one am ready to get hurt again. It is good for the Art and the Soul. But I hope that does not make me sound like a pessimist, because I am forever the romantic optimist.

I am a big fan of words and story, I LOVE a good story. I am looking for an educated woman that can keep up with my fast-firing brain-farts. Do not fear, they are odorless. But they most certainly (hopefully) will cause mental infections, like a virus I will (hopefully) worm my way inside your mind-grapes and ferment your thoughts like a fine wine. Free of charge / You are welcome. Hopefully you will return the favor and ripen my own mental-berries. In other words: I love learning what each new friend has to teach me in life. We can always learn from others. Experiences shared are experiences remembered, and if not remembered, then reminded of, and appreciated yet again. Remember that time that we... Oh, wait, we have not done that yet, you are only just now reading my profile. Wait... You remember WHAT from my profile? ...NO, I did not use the word "fart" in my online dating profile... did I? Who would do something that odd? Ok, true, I would... but it must have been in some sort of witty-cerebral context (I wish/hope). Anyway, just finish reading my profile so we can get to the part where we first met.

I look for stimulating conversation and physical attraction. I am ready for anything: emotionally available, happy and friendly. Looking for a nice person to spend time with and share pop-cultural references and life experiences. No games: I am not a player; Not looking for a one-night stand, but also am eventually looking for more than just a friendship. I am fiercely independant, sometimes a hermit, but can also be the social butterfly and life of the party.

Pop-Cultural awareness and sensitivity is key. As humans we are bombarded by media words and images constantly. Do not succumb to the laziness of your couch and let them spoon feed your entertainment to you! TV shows, movies, music, books= Know the good from the bad. It is ok to have guilty pleasures, but be able to state a good defense to justify why you are watching garbage. As a rule of measure: Anything I like is Good, anything I dislike is Bad. ;) Somewhat kidding ;)

I am unassumingly ostentatious, humbly bold, sincerely sarcastic, laughingly serious, an honest liar, and can truthfully say that I am one hell of a catch ;) . At the very least, I have the potential (if you are lucky enough) of being the best ex-boyfriend you have ever had ;) But there I go sounding pessimistic again. So I guess I am a dark optimist too. Or a sunny realist?

...and i have a very uncooperative keyboard right now that is driving m crazy, so i will type (even) more latr.

***if you have read this far and are STILL reading this you are entitled to one free email that you can send to me! congrats! Just fill out the note at the top!***

get together in the middle of the day on a weekend for tea, perhaps sushi? Just talk and get to know each other, see if anything clicks.
Perhaps go to the mall with clip boards, and hand out pamphlets to people, so that when they unfold they realize it is just a blank piece of paper. But by that time we are long gone. They look down, dejected, a single tear forms, drops, along with all their hopes for the answer to life being revealed within that pamphlet. Haha... suckers, there IS no secret ingredient. And yet the secret ingredient is there.
Skidoosh! (~Philosohy learned while watching KungFuPanda)