I wrote this when I was working as a traffic Controller. Not a day would go by without one toothless construction worker after another trying to pick me up. Also watched every make and model in Cape Breton pass me by, spewing their fetid exhaust, which made me a little loopy. I blame the fumes for this story; it unfolded one rainy lunch break while I sat in my car eating my tuna salad sandwich. I decided to combine the two on an old envelope. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think. See if you can pick out all the cars a hint for you there are over 100.

Ode to Being picked up at Work by a Co-worker
A Traffic Controller's Day

One day as one of my new co-workers went Paseo, he suddenly stopped and walked over to introduce himself. He said," Hi, I’m Jimmy Cooper." I thought, Jeepers he’s creepy.
I smiled and said, "It’s a pleasure to meet you my names Elantra Savanah Alero." I've heard of men being from Mars and women being from Venus but this guy was just so very Oddessey that I thought he must be from Saturn."
"What's your Astrological sign," he asked, "I bet you’re a Taurus?"
"No," I said, "but I am one part Cherokee Indian on my Ma'z dad's side. That Grand Cherokee's name was Pontiac."
"He asked, "Where are you from?"
"I'm an ex New Yorker,"I replied.
"How Metropolitan of you."
"Well actually," I said, "I grew up in the suburbs so I guess I'm more Suburban than you would think."

I don't mind saying I had some Intrepidation about where the conversation was heading. It was at this time that he started to get pretty Prelude.
He asked, "Would you like to Rendezvous Outback to give me a Hummer?" After hearing that it left me in no doubt that he Aspired to Probe my Volvo. As I didn't think he could find my Geo spot with a Pathfinder, that is to say not even with a Tracker. Possibly with a Pilot and/or a Navigator, and Infinity on his side, however, he might have eventually succeeded. It was at that time that I decided to Endevour to Dodge that Ram.

I said, "Nissan here, of Corsica it may seem like a Century since someone wanted to be the Explorer of my Xtrail, but with you I don't think I would Acheiva the Maxima that is to say the Altima Summit." "Besides,” I said," I don't think I would Envoy it very much anyway. '

"I'm being Cirrus here,you're no Impala of mine. It's not that you don't Intrigue me, and I would admit you have a certain amount of Mystique, but you couldn't smoke more if you were Sunfire. Besides," I said, "I'm considered a bit of a Cougar and you're too Oldsmobile for me. And even If you took a whole bottle of Vitara I just don't think you could keep the Tempo. You're just Sonata what I'm looking for."

"I Sedona what you're talking about," he said," I can Acclaim that my aim is Acura.
"Am I speaking with an Accent," I asked," is there an Echo in here? See if you can Dakota this." "Focus," I said, "I don't Caravan if you think it's my Civic duty to Trans Sport you to your Matrix. Sonama talk like that, just Cutlass it right out."

He said, "I appreciate your Regal Xterra you're very Celica."
"Grand, Am I? I think you think you're a real Trail Blazer," I said, "but let’s just get one thing straight you are not going to be the Forester of this bush."

I think he fancied himself a lone Ranger. He thought he was being so Cavelier. I got the Vibe that he thought he had a Magnum in his pants. I'd Venture a guess it was no Grand Prix. I thought I might even need a flood light to ilLuminate it. "Even if you showed me your Sunbird," I said, "I exSpectra I wouldn't Sienna thing to write home about. According to me you haven't got the Edge to be the Voyager of my Golf stream."

He then offered to take me to Montana, Malibu, Monte Carlo and even Rio.
"No thanks I'll Passat on that.” I said. I had to admire his Spirit however; he just wasn't going to give up the Pursuit. But GMC was he being pushy.

To my horror he offered to pay me a crisp new Lincoln if I would show him my Frontier. I was outraged what did he think I was some kind of Escort. I said," Lexus just get one thing Stratus. I 'm nobodies Tahoe. My Contour's not Tercel. "Beside," I said, "you couldn't afFord it." In all seriousness," I said as I pointed down the road to another co-worker," I won't do it, but Bonneville."

I wanted to Sprint away but I wasn't at Liberty to Escape. So I gestured for him Tacoma little closer and I said, "Camaro over here, as I pointed to the spot directly beside me, once he had, he couldn't have come any closer if he was my Shadow. I then Chevyed him with all my might and asked, "Do you want to Dynasty? I should Subaru you for sexual harassment." His face lost all Corolla when I said that.

I said, "Sierra, I'm not trying to Toyota with your feeling, so, shut your Plymouth, for Chrysler sake!" I fixed him with an icy stare; you could feel the Mercury drop. It must have felt like a mid January Breeze off the coast of Sable Island. Or better Jetta, the coldest day on the Yukon Tundra. He shivered and I asked, "Do you need a Blazer?"

I said," I Audi Neon you in the place that Hertz - rent a car."But I Sidekicked him right in the Aztec instead. KIA!! That felt good, but I just didn't feel vindicated, so with another Karate yell, "Hyundai," I said, I sent my foot full force into his Firebird.
He began to Saab the tears streamed down his face in Torrents. I winced and said, "Geez that Mustang."

I finally Sentra him hobbling away by saying, "Get Honda the other side of the road and don't forget to Sebring me a coffee on my break."

I shook my head after he left and thought Magentis, you can't live with them; you can't work with them.

If you found the above story funny then chances are we share the same sense of humour. Feel free to contact me.

If not oh well good luck fishing