I will not leave your toilet seat up or forget your birthday. I am funnier than anyone you know. I have terrific peripheral vision and my feet stink. I have great adventures when I go out drinking. I have arm wrestled transvestites, get a hair cut from dwarf, and tricked the Devil leaving him drunk on a corner with a Mexican. I am very macho!!!!!! And I will never make you feel icky. Well, maybe just a little but not a lot.

Make you laugh until I can see the joy in your soul. Hold your hand to let you know I am never far away. Capture a moment so I could share it with you.