| plentyofhumping :
SCREW WALKING ON THE BEACH |
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| City |
Some where over the rainbow! Ontario |
| Area |
Canada |
| Ethnicity |
Caucasian |
| Sign |
Leo |
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Height | 5' 11" (180 cm)
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| I am Seeking a |
Woman
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Who is Looking
for |
Friends |
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| Smoker? |
No |
| Do you drink? |
No |
| Marital Status |
Not Single/Not Looking |
| Profession |
Self Employed |
| Smarts |
Some college |
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| Do you want children? |
Does not want children |
| Do you do drugs? |
Often (>3 times/week) |
| Do you have children? |
Yes |
| Do you have a car? |
Yes |
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| | About Me |
| | First the serious stuff.....I might contact you to give positive feedback since I actually read the profiles..
I'm not looking for or expect anything from you...I'm not here to start any kind of a relationship with you and even if you beg I will not take you to my office...whisk everything off the table and take you from behind while screamin "EEEEEHHHAAAAAA" (mainly because I don't have an office but if.....oh never mind)
Unlike alot of the men (and men posing as couples) here I'm not looking for a threesome or anything like that. I LIVED with two women for several years. They learned that "keeping up" was their problem not mine. I learned that whining sounds much better in MONO instead of Stereo.
I have been with Presidents and Prime Ministers...along with some other influential people, so I apologize right now for not being intimidated by you.
I will not ask, borrow, take or steal your money...I will not tell you how much of it I have or make since I know neither.
I'm a sucker for people who need help.
My heart just sinks whenever I hear one of our kids has died in Afghanastan. I happen to think that the only reason we're there is because President Bushleague had to prove that he was bigger then his dad. Unless of course you can give me another logical reason.
Is it me or does everyone have nothing better to do but text and chat. Try picking up a damn phone and doing what takes you 3 hours in five minutes. Betcha these are the same people who won't talk to you unless you have a tattoo or piercings. Hey I know, why don't you tattoo your text message on your a$$ and Fed Ex yourself to your friends and probably save some time!
Why do you say that you're looking for a man with similar interests? I thought you were interested in finding a man?...No wonder you can't find anything here you should be looking on ManLine or some other gay site.
I like emotional people. I can do without drama queens/kings...
The best sex is never planned!
I'm not always right and will gladly take in your point of view.
I only have one motto and that is you'll get back twice as much as you give me....good or bad!
If I die tommorrow, it's been an amazing trip...
Our governments in North America spend hundreds of BILLIONS on cops, lawyers,judges, prisons, guards, health costs etc. ruining the lives and families of non violent drug users. When they could be spending MILLIONS on prevention and treatment. What do we get for all that money? Well let's see...along with the US we have per capita 10 TIMES the amount of cocaine and hard drug users then the next highest country. So far only one country has decriminalized ALL drugs and usage went down just like everywhere else. What was lowered dramatically was drug related deaths and the spread of AIDS and other diseases....
I'm a male...if you think I'm going to tell jokes and not bring my penis and sex up I will fail you. Speaking of penises, I can't play ANY instruments! (Don't worry...you'll understand when you get to the end.)
I will give unsolicited advice, opinions, thoughts and solutions.
You can be, have and do whatever you want as long as you believe it to be so and ask for it.
The only difference between you and your dreams, needs and wants is what you have settled for!
I'm not full of myself, infact if we ever meet we would talk about nothing but YOU!
I don't mean to offend anyone! I think if you keep reading I might fail at this one too.
Enough of that...And now for something completely different......
I must warn you that if you lied on your profile about having a sense of humour you should look away now or you'll go blind!
This profile is brought to you by the makers of Energizer Batteries and Vaseline Jelly "cause that's as close to love as you're going to get tonite"
Ever notice every ad starts with " I'm looking for an honest man" REALLY! On the internet? Wouldn't you have better luck looking in a prison.
Rather be making love in the water then walking on the beach Is that honest enough?
Where's the mail setting for "Must not be a b1tch"
I'm not skinny but I know I'm not fat since if you catch me in a public washroom I'M NOT the guy standing in front of the sink looking in the mirror trying to find his****
I don't drink beer so no worries about having to find me every night out with the boys having lap dances by some skank (apologies to all the skanks here) who I would never talk to otherwise.
I'm not a jealous guy but I would love to have Bill Gates money. Only so I could buy every baseball team in America and make them all wear dresses.
There's nothing more annoying then women who wear halter tops or mini skirts and then spend the whole day pulling them up or down.
I'm beginning to think I should start a list of psychopath's on here!..HHHMMMMMM who to put first.........
Did you choose Prefer Not To Say as a body type because obese was not an option?
I find having to twist my neck sideways to look at a picture is usually not worth the excersise.
If you don't mind that I don't shave everyday. I won't mind that you're seen in public with your bangs flippped back and pinned.
I meant to call myself plentyofharpooning...Honestly! 
Is lack of communication between partners "Cosmopolitan" for we had a lousy sex life?
Large pictures on a profile should not be allowed. People look way better when their pics are only 1/2 an inch. Of course cleavage shots look good any size 
And why do you put pictures of how you'll never look again on your profile...Like "Hey baby this is what you could of had 10 years ago until the last sh*thead came along and caused my 28 yr. old face to look 43."
Is "I'm open minded" another "cosmopolitan" code for I fantasize about being with another woman?
I wish I was born a woman so I could put up a fake pic. Not bother changing anything from Prefer Not to Say. Type two words in my profile "Fuuck me". And have 546 idiots emailing me.
I was reading in the forums how some of you girls who are a little flat chested were wondering how to improve your chances of getting more emails on POF. If I can be so bold as to make a suggestion. Since half the pictures of the girls with big boobs are fake anyways I would just stick a couple of thimbles on your a$$ and PhotoShop it.
All men claim to have a big**** Some like Ron Geremy can suck their own**** I'll show how I can play the drums on my knee caps with my****
I'm an airhead with nothing to say so if you want to know don't bother asking.
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| | First Date |
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(If I haven't lost most of you yet, I think this will do it...)
As most would know, whether you smoke pot or not, and depending on how good it is, you tend to "zone" out for a few minutes and be oblivious to your own surroundings. When going through
a forum here on "can non smokers get along with pot smokers" , of course alot of the messages were from non smokers with the usual hypocritical views and other nonsense. All I could think of was how good the pot that their GOD was smoking since faster then you can say "stoner" he could get rid of the source of their problem and others like it!!
Think of your perfect date and we'll do it! Unless you turn out to be stuck up and abnoxious. Then we're going bungee jumping with my freshly sharpened scissors! "After you my lady!" |
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plentyofhumping has 2 roses that can be sent. |
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